Thursday

too much praise?

Jon wonders if we are giving kids TOO MUCH PRAISE these days.

2 comments:

Denette said...

I didn't read the link but after reading Alphe Kohn's book "Unconditional Parenting" I agree that too much praise is hurting our kids.

Anonymous said...

I think its the flip side of a culture that believes you are only worth something if you are the best. If what we really believe is that you are only worth something if you are at the top of the heap, then of course you will want to kid yourself and your kid that they are that one person on top even if they are not. A lot of people in previous generations grew up with constant criticism because the parents thought it would help them to improve. Obviously it didn't. Therein the flip flop. I see nothing wrong with searching out genuine areas to praise in your kids and making an effort to honestly praise them. I also see nothing wrong with "everyone wins" trophies for LITTLE kids. It avoids the tantrums and keeps it fun. I guess because I don't move in the circles of yuppie parents who feel that junior must go to Harvard and try out for the olympics I don't see this amongst the parents I know. They praise their kids honestly but also give negative feedback, lovingly delivered, when appropriate. They also do not equate their children's worth as human beings with their athletic and academic skills but more on their character. This is what it springs from is a belief that acheivement will equal high self esteem.