Thursday

alec baldwin

Have you ACTUALLY LISTENED TO the nasty voicemail message Alec Baldwin left for his 11 year old daughter? The one in which he insults her mother, refers to her as a "pig," and threatens her?

If you have, you likely share my disgust that he now publicly blames his raging tirade on his daughter's mother. Baldwin says that if his ex-wife weren't so difficult to deal with, he wouldn't be under the "stress" that led him to go off like this. He claims Kim Basinger has "alienated" him from his child.

This is a classic blame-the-victim strategy employed by rageful, abusive people - often men - toward their victims - often women and children. If you listen to the voicemail message, it's pretty clear that Baldwin doesn't need much help in "alienating" himself from his child. He's doing an excellent job of that himself.

And if all it takes to whip him into this type of frenzy is one careless, or even thoughtless failure to answer the phone by an 11 year old child, I cannot imagine what state he gets himself into when someone really pisses him off.

I have no idea who leaked this tape to the media, but that's a separate issue. Baldwin's rage and abuse speak for themselves, however they became public.

I feel really sorry for Kim Basinger. She's been living with this behavior as a wife, a mother and an ex-wife for 15 years now, and it must be incredibly painful and difficult.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

This isn't one careless missed phone call. Kim Basinger is slated to go to trial on 12 counts of contempt. For context, read the arraignment. She was arraigned in October and as far as I know there is still no trial date. At issue: visitation, phone contact and communication over a medical matter. It looks like parental alienation to me, especially considering this is an out-of-state parent. A judge had to weigh the evidence there. These are not baseless charges.

Of course the call was inexcusable, and very sad, and just plain WRONG. But to assume that Kim Basinger is an innocent victim based on that one call is a leap. It is also possible that she is guilty of abusing Alec Baldwin, by inciting his temper. I mean, if he has such a terrible temper, why does she go and do what she allegedly did per the arraignment? To work with him, or to make him mad, to go for his Achilles heel. If his temper is bad for her daughter, she needs to document that, get her ass to court and get an order for therapy or something. I mean, they don't even live in the same city and they can't get their act together?

And no, the leak is not a separate matter. If there had been no leak, millions upon millions of people would not even know what Ireland looks like. Now we all do. I think it was outrageous for someone to leak this tape and unethical for TMZ.com to air it (for Ireland's sake). I wonder how poor Ireland feels about the leak. Her parents really, really need to figure this out.

katie allison granju said...

Lots of conjecture here, but I will say this: if KB believes this man is a danger to her daughter, or not a safe person for her child to be with, she has a right and an obligation to protect her child.

Abusive exes of both genders often drag their kids' parents back into court repeatedly, accusing them of all kinds of things. AB appears to have a fondness for dragging KB into court over and over.

The tape should not have been leaked, but that's not what I was addressing in my post. I am addressing Baldwin's rant and what it appears to indicate about his behavior in general. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be married to or co-parenting with someone who would behave like that. I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with him.

katie allison granju said...

Also, to say that she might be "abusing" AB by "inciting his temper" is exactly what I am talking about with regards to blaming the victim.

If he has a rage problem, that's HIS problem. It's not one he should inflict on his child, no matter how much he hates her mother.

Clisby said...

But you have no idea what Kim Basinger thinks, or what Kim Basinger does, or whether she's a victim or a complete bitch. You don't know whether the daughter is a victim, or a disrespectful little snot who deserves no sympathy whatsoever.

The phone call itself was way OTT - although I didn't interpret it as meaning Baldwin would be dangerous to his daughter - only that he was furious. A court might well want to err on the side of caution and suspend visitation - that's life.

No doubt abusive exes do drag the other parent back into court repeatedly. It does not follow that an ex who repeatedly drags the other parent back into court is abusive, nor does it follow that the other parent is a victim.

katie allison granju said...

I don't care if KB is a terrible person to deal with, or whether the child is a "snot." No parent, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES should speak to his 11 year old child thwt way. Period. No parent, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES should speak of their child's other parent that way. Period.

Any child who is subjected to that tirade UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES **is** a victim - of verbal and emotional abuse.

Anonymous said...

I agree with KAG. I don't know anything first hand about Kim Basinger. The only first hand knowledge I have of this case is that voicemail. That's not filtered through anyone else's agenda or viewpoint or court documents. It's raw evidence of a man with a rage disorder abusing his 11 year old child by threatening her and insulting her and her mother.

Anonymous said...

And if he has a rage problem, the mother should act like an adult and not incite it. That's not blaming the victim. That's holding her accountable for her role in the dynamic and protecting her daughter from possible future rages. Of course he should deal with the problem. But as the mother of his child, she should protect her child from the problem, too. Messing with visitation and phone contact is WRONG. It is possible that she is not some innocent victim here, as you seem to think, based on what I do not know. If she's done what the arraignment says she's done, she is exacerbating the problem big-time.

I agree that he should have not spoken like that to his daughter. It is a shame he didn't hang up and call back when he was calmer. I have a funny feeling he wishes the same thing too.

Again, I suggest you read the arraignment. There is more nuance here than you are allowing.

Anonymous said...

there's always at least 2 sides to every story - and usually the truth lies somewhere in between.

Besides, i thought AB was moving to France? Can we get the date moved up or something?

katie allison granju said...

If the mother is messing with phone time, talk to the mother (or her lawyer). But that's not what he did. He went off on the child. There is no excuse for that. He balmed the child for "humiliating" him by not answering the phone.

I just fundamentally agree with you that people who have a raging abuser in their lives have a responsibility to tiptoe around trying not to "incite" them. The responsibility is with the angry person to clean up his or her act.

Anonymous said...

Speaking only to that phone call, I don't see what the other side is. He made the call. He said the words. That's the story there.

Do I have the right to scream at my kid or insult and abuse her because my job is very stressful? Or because my spouse is kind of a pain in the ass? Both of those things are true, but I don't abuse my kid because I am stressed. That wouldn't make the abuse okay.

Anonymous said...

I for one do not condone what he did. I find it alarming that anyone would. Taking his anger out on his child was terribly, terribly wrong. There just isn't any excuse for it. But to extrapolate from this phone call and call him an abuser and have all this sympathy for Kim Basinger as some perfectly innocent victim seems misplaced. I have a feeling we're not always talking angelics on her side. But we don't know. We're not there. From the outside, they both seem like flawed parents who can't extricate themselves from an unfortunate cycle of conflict.

dewi said...

There is no rationale for screaming at your children in this manner, feeling angry towards your child is not a reason for verbal abuse or a free for all where you can say any hurtful thing that tumbles out of your mouth. AB lacks impulse control and other people are not responsible for his behavior.

There is usually a valid reason for parental alienation, the friends and family and legal system rarely gets to see or hear it firsthand as we all did in this case.

AB deserves to be alienated from his child if this is the type of voice mail he leaves when he is angry over her not picking up her phone when he calls, and threatens his child with violence by "straightening her out".

Anonymous said...

It is a very sad commentary on the anonymous posters beliefs if they do not think, what AB screamed at his child was not abusive.

If you do not think this was verbal abuse then it is your faulty perception and problem, we seem to live in a country were so many people treat others abusively (especially towards children) that they do not know how to recognize it anymore when it is happening.

No one has ever spoken to me in the manner; I certainly would never consider hollering such rage filled verbal diarrhea and abuse towards anyone. I know I was never verbally abused by my parents or husband and in turn would never speak in this manner to others.

Anonymous said...

Frankly, I think more kids need to be spoken to in exactly this manner. There's too many unruly 12-year olds running the roost these days with parents who think the word "no" will damage them for life, and they grow up to be priveleged adults who think they can do no wrong and expect everyone to kowtow to them.

Anonymous said...

I don't think wwe know enough about the situation to pass judgement. We know that they are divoced and that KB has engaged in some pretty rottn behavior. We have no idea how she has presented AB to their daughter in his absence. We have no idea how stressed or pushed he was. Yeah, you shouldn't speak to an 11 year old like that. At the same time, when my parents were getting divorced, they said some pretty awful things to me that still roll around in my hear. But, I realize that they were doing the best they could and occassionally snapped. Maybe he jsut snapped. And, come on, it's quite probably that KB leaked the tape? That says a lot about her character and how much she values her daughter's feelings. Maybe she snapped too. THey whoel thing should have been kept between the three of them. And their therapists.

Anonymous said...

You people are missing the point: it does not matter one whit what Kim B. has or has not done to bug the bejeezus out of Alec B. You simply don't speak to your children that way. Or should I say, rage and scream and threaten them that way. I feel very sorry for anyone who thinks there is any excuse for that sort of behavior toward a child.

Anonymous said...

Wow.
I hope the anonymous 3:48 person is just trolling, and doesn't really believe that more children NEED to be spoken to like that... How very sad, if so.
There is a very big difference between telling a child that you don't like their behavior, versus telling them that you don't like THEM as PEOPLE. What AB did was tell his daughter that she is fundamentally flawed. There is no greater damage that can be inflicted to one's psyche.

Clisby said...

"No parent, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES should speak of their child's other parent that way. Period."

Well, here's what he said:

"... your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do."

Katie, you've written worse than that about your ex. Granted, as far as I know, you didn't yell it into an answering machine - you just posted it to the world.

katie allison granju said...

Clisby - I'm not going to get into a pissing match with you on my blog about this issue. Clearly, I disagree with you about what I've said about my children's father in public, and the context, and how it differs from screaming nasty insults directly at my child, about my child, and about the people my child loves.

I'm also a big believer in signing my name to what I say/write.

-Katie

katie (blogger won't let me log in) said...

Additionally, you are flat wrong that I have ever or would ever criticize my children's father in the way you accuse me of. While we disagreed on the details of our custody arrangement at the time of our divorce, something I've written about, I have never and will never say anything less than positive about my ex's love for and devotion to our children. We are co-parents in every sense of the word, and I believe he would say the same thing.

We had an unpleasant divorce. It was personally panful to me. My children know this. They also know that their parents both love them and are full parents to them in every way.

Katie Allison Granju said...

Lastly, if this conversation devolves further in this direction, I will close comments. M

uumomma said...

i belive, maybe even i KNOW that this was not the first time AB spoke to his daughter like that. and it wont be the last.
that little girl will remember for the rest of her life...yes forever what he said...words like that are burned into your brain, your very core being, the deepest part of you soul, like a branding iron.

erika

Lane said...

Abuse is abuse is abuse. Were KB trying to “protect her child” she would have taken the tape to the judge, not TMZ. That you would characterize Kim as a victim is both sad and ridiculous. There is only one victim and that is the child! They are bitch and bastard, and both wearing parts of the same jack-ass costume. To argue about which one is the mule’s rear end is to trivialize the damage they are doing to this child. If the judge has any guts, he will suspend both of their parental rights.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely agree that there is no excuse for speaking to a child this way. NONE.

But I also think it's a leap to the "KB is a victim" conclusion. From what I've heard she & AB are pretty much both out of control whackos. Their child is certainly a victim, but I don't have much sympathy for either of the parents.

Anonymous said...

Basinger completely denies leaking that tape, and now Alec Baldwin says publicly that he "knows the guy who did it."

I can't figure out how Kim Basinger has become a villain here.

Anonymous said...

do women marry these monsters knowing what they are and hoping they'll change? or does it come out after? I don't understand how they get tangled up with guys like this. If I met a guy with such an anger problem, I would not marry him!

Anonymous said...

um, I think from the sounds of it they deserve each other