a good life

I've realized recently that this is the happiest and healthiest I've ever been in my whole adult life.

I attribute a lot of this to Jon. No, no, I'm not saying that you need another person to make you happy or healthy, but I will say that living with such a fundamentally sane, kind, thoughtful, even-tempered person, with such healthy values would be good for anyone. He's just Good Folks.

I tend to be a bit of a drama queen (many of us creative, writerly types are). Jon keeps me grounded.

The best thing about living with Jon is that I have never experienced being treated with such respect. That's a morale-booster for anyone.

When my daughters are old enough to date, I will encourage them to forego the dark-and-tortured-unpredictable-types for the Good Guys. It was a lesson it took me 38 years to learn, but I know now.

I am lucky.

And yes, this s a very sappy post, but hey! We're still newlyweds! I get to do things like this.


Anonymous said...

He does sound like a keeper! The kind of man who will be a wonderful father. Amazing how easy it can be to fall for men who may be superficially charming but don't have the strong character that you need for the long haul. I know--I did it too before I found my keeper.

Katharine said...

I'm a second-time-around's-a-keeper believer too. Should've married my second husband the first time. :-))

Clisby said...

If your daughters listen to you, I'll be very surprised.

When you're young, the "dark-and-tortured-unpredictable-types" are gonna win, every time.

Anonymous said...

Clisby, that's a good reason not to marry too young. My Dad always told me not to marry until at least 25. Divorce rates are very low for people who marry for the first time at around 30.

Clisby said...

Oh, absolutely. I married at 42, when our first child was 2 months old. I've always told my almost-11-year-old daughter that 30 is about the earliest age anyone should marry.

Kat Coble said...

Well, I married at 21, but I married a "good guy."

We're still going strong 16 years later.

I blame it all on the "good guy".

Anonymous said...

The other posters are correct, do not let our daughters or sons marry too young or have babies too young.

Young women and men need time to outgrown harmful relationships that are immature and unsuitable for a long-term commitment, marriage and family.

Clisby said...

"Well, I married at 21, but I married a "good guy."

Sure, it can work out fine. My oldest brother and his wife were 23 and 19 when they married, and they've been happily married for more than 25 years. But the odds are against it.

I don't see any need to pass up the exciting and unpredictable and unreliable guys, just because they aren't keepers. When I was in my 20s a keeper was about the last thing I was after. I had that real clear in my head, though, so I was never tempted to marry any of them.

Catherine K. said...


I can't wait for you to meet mine (boyfriend not husband). Everytime you talk about jon, I think, yup. Me too. Took me 31 years, but I wouldn't change a thing, 'cause, damn, now I KNOW how good I've got it!


sajmom said...

My grandmother always told me that if I was smart I would't marry until at least 30. She only explained that people go through a lot of changes and don't know who they are yet when they're young.

rich said...

Just out of curiosity, why is it always necessary to apologize for needing a companion in your life? Humans are a social animal, and even more importantly, are a pair bonding animal. Living independently is doable, but it isn't the behavioral optimum.

Of course you feel better when you're in a strong relationship with a good partner; we're built that way.

One of the greatest tragedies of modern western culture was when we redefined "love" as a social disease and called it "co-dependence."

OK, rant over now.*grin*

Anonymous said...

We all deserve a little happiness and I think that most of us, that visit you here, are very happy that you have found what you need to feel like an enhanced, whole person.I seem to have been down a similar road and it also took me way too long to finaly "get it." But you know what? No matter how much you encourage your daughters to make the right choices they are going to have to find their own path ,in their own way.When you have a rebellious daughter that refuses to "conform"(like I have and like I was)it is a painful process to have to sit back and watch without losing your sanity!That is the hard part of being a parent and watching your kids grow into adults.All the stuff that seems so very important when they are in middle and high school pales in comparrison. That's where your well grounded,good-guy husband will really pay off.He will keep you feeling good about yourself if you start second- guessing your parenting skills and your purpose in life as your children start leaving the nest and flying solo.