the dentist

I took most of today off to take my two youngest children to the dentist. Jane did just fine with her dental work. All she had done today was sealants put on (she finally has enough permanent teeth to do this). She's a trooper and never complains and has a very high pain tolerance. Once, when she was 6, she had to have an emergency root canal (she has really problematic teeth) while traveling in France with her grandparents and apparently she hopped up in the chair, followed the dentist's instructions in French perfectly and never made a peep of complaint.

Elliot, on the other hand, is a little iffy with medical procedures. I believe this is because he spent his first three weeks of life in an oxygen tent, with an IV in his tiny noggin (that's where they put it in newborns) and a tube up his nose. He went on to have several other major medical problems in his toddler years -- and they were not pleasant.

He hasn't had any health problems since then - and he's in second grade now - but he's wary of the entire medical world.

Because of Elliot's fears, when I chose this new dentist off my new dental insurance plan, I was sure to explain that I wanted a dentist who would allow me to stay with my children during any procedures, if the kid wanted me to. "Oh yes," they assured me on the phone. "No problem."

So today we went in for his first visit there with me (his father took him the last time). They inform me -- in a scary tone right in front of this visibly wan, frightened looking little kid - that he needs a cap on one tooth and maybe two baby teeth pulled and that it will hurt, so they will be giving him a shot in the roof of his mouth. Oh, and by the way, I will need to leave him in the examining room and wait in the waiting room.

At that point, Elliot burst into sobs and clung to me like a baby monkey. I tried to calm him down and explained to the dentist that I expected to be able to stay with him and that perhaps she could reassure him that it wouldn't be that bad. She replied as if I were an utter idiot and told me that NO MOTHER should want to stay with a child getting dental work done. I told her that our last dentist had no problem with it; in fact, in years past, I had nursed my children there while having my own teeth worked on. This dentist was having none of it, though, and by this time, tears were just streaming down Elliot's face.

So I told her we would need to look into coming back another day and she said that she belives Elliot will need to be sedated to have the work done (since she can see him trembling and weeping on my lap). Great. Before she got him all freaked out, I don't think he WOULD have needed to be sedated. So she gave me the names of a couple of dentists who offer sedation for freaked out young dental patients, and we left. Nothing was accomplished and my day taken off work was sort of wasted. And I am annoyed.

Poor Elliot is now very apprehensive about going back to the dentist at all.