Thursday

public vs. private

My eighth grade son wants to go to public school for high school next year because he is feeling oppressed

He is oppressed by the khakis, button downs and loafers he has had to wear every day since he was six. He is oppressed by the fact that he cannot grow his shaggy head of hair below his ears. He is oppressed by having to attend chapel each morning when he is questioning his own religious views. He wants to go to school with more progressive kids, or at least a few more leftie Democrat kids.

He has a legitimate interest in attending a more diverse school, but he also has some misconceptions about public school, I think. He's seen "Rock and Roll High School" too many times.

He believes he will have fewer rules and more freedom at a public school, but I think he will find himself very turned off by the "school resource officers" (cops at school) roaming the cinderblock halls. He's used to being outside on a 100 acre farm setting many times each day and in classrooms with big windows that open, etc, etc, etc and I think he'll find the whole public school setting very closed up and depressing, but hey, he's a teenage boy and he thinks I know very little at the moment.

He also wants to go to a school with more kids who want to be in his nascent rock and roll band.

Oh yes, he also told me this morning (in his constant, nonstop lobbying to go to public school) that at a public school, he would no longer be the only teenager with an "unusual mom." I asked him what exactly this meant and he said that he is now embarrassed because I am so much younger than his friends' mothers - he says he's afraid people think I had him when I was 15 years old. I am now officially embarrassing as a parent for something I have zero control over: my age.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well I have to agree that it sort of shocked me when you told me you have a 14 year old kid. You don't look old enough. But remember, that's a good thing, not a bad thing.

Anonymous said...

You could stop being so cool - dress like a STEPFORD MOM- pearls, cardigans, wool skirts. :-)

Anonymous said...

All parents embarrass their teenage children. It's an immutable Law of the universe. If it weren't your age, it woulld be something else - your car, your music, whatever.

Julie said...

My car (messy, perpetually dinged up) does embarrass him. My music, not so much. He and I have a lot of the same musical interests, although he likes metal and hardcore rap more than I do.

Anonymous said...

Let him go. It's much easier to score in public schools (on both counts).

Anonymous said...

I attended a private school, probably the same one your kid attends. I had all the same feelings then that he has now. But my parents kept me there and I am really grateful for that now. On the other hand I have a sister who got to the point of misery before our parents finally let her go to public schools, which she is very grateful for now also. To each his/her own, I suppose. Of course nobody should tell you how to deal with your own kid, but I would try to keep him where he is unless/until he really has problems there. I think that would serve him better in the long run.

Lisa said...

Oh HAHAHAHAH... I'm afraid my girl will be embarrassed by how OLD I am when she is 14... guess you can't win! What about letting him try public school for a year, then re-evaluate based on how you both feel and how he is doing after that if he stays in public school or goes back to private school?

Anonymous said...

As a parent of a teenager it is your #1 job to embarrass them...don't be offended. Also, I teach in a public school, attended public school. Two of my 4 brothers attended Baylor private; at one time I longed to go to GPS. The main reason I wanted to go to GPS was the school girl outfit! However, I have to say that I was happy at public school. As far as curriculum and test scores our county is great, check the scores. Sometimes public schools offer a more true vision of our society. Sometimes private schools are...sheltered (not sure if I'm choosing the right word). In the end it is a very personal decision that is difficult for a 30 something person, really hard for a 14-year old. Good luck!

Kizz said...

Does he have any friends who go to the public school that he wants to attend? Is there anyway he could spend a day or 2 at the school. My best friend went to private school and I went to public school and once or twice a year when one of us had vacation and the other one didn't we'd attend the other's classes for a day. Even if we weren't totally happy where we were it gave us some perspective. It might not change your son's mind but it will at least help him to be more informed about his decision.

Anonymous said...

Our child went to a small private school for eight years. He started preschool there when he was 3 and we were going to have him stay through 8th grade.

But suddenly, at the end of 6th grade, he decided he wanted to go to a public school where some friends go (so he could eat in a cafeteria, play in the band, and have less homework!)

We let him do it, thinking that he would do best wherever he was truly invested, whatever the reason he gave for wanting to be there. He loves it there and is thriving! And we like the public school better than the private school.

We hear from another mother with a child at the same small private school that her child felt in a small-school minority there and then felt in a racial minority when later attending a magnet school. Our child then told us that he had been feeling the same way.

Anonymous said...

Private schools are almost always a better bet, for reasons that extend from academics to athletics to the contacts made for life. You must insist, unless finances preclude such an arrangement, that your son continue at private school.