ward's memorial service

WARD ANDERSON, AGE 2, WITH HIS COUSINS ANNA AND HELEN ALLISON, IN BELL BUCKLE, JUNE - 2005

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I'm back in Knoxville now after spending the weekend in Bell Buckle for baby Ward's memorial service.

It was an entire weekend of people spending time together, remembering Ward, celebrating him and appreciating each other. There was a lot of sadness, but also a lot of joy for having had him with us for two years.

The service itself was Saturday morning at a beautiful little historic church in Bell Buckle, the United Methodist Church on Maple Street, which is located literally directly across the street from Ward's family's house. This is also where Ward (and all my little nieces and nephews) attend nursery school.

Ward was cremated and his ashes are in a lovely old wooden cookie jar that has always been at my grandmother's house (which is at the end of Maple Street, less than a block from the church). So at the front of the sanctuary was the cookie tin with Ward's ashes, surrounded a lot of beautiful flowers picked from gardens and wild around Bell Buckle. None of them looked "funereal" in the last, but they were all very pretty.

There were a lot of wonderful photos of Wardie blown up and sitting on an easel at the front of the church as well.

There were easily over 500 people there. It was standing room only, but didn't seem crowded. All the little cousins were plopped on various laps up front or sitting cross legged on the floor up front. It was a very child-friendly service. Ward's brothers, Gray and Jack, were not dressed up but instead wearing what made them feel most comfortable.

The service was very, very casual in tone and included some beautiful old hymns like "All Things Bright and Beautiful," as well as some flute-playing from my cousin Thomas, Ward's Uncle. He played some of the music he played at Ward's bedside in the hospital while Ward was in the coma. Thomas cried, and I can't recall the last time I saw him cry like that.

James and Julie each spoke to everyone -- but in keeping with the casual tone, they didn't stand at the lectern, but just stood up in front of everyone in the sanctuary and told of their appreciation for Ward and how grateful they feel to have been able to be his parents. Julie talked a little about how she felt that she had been blessed to be the mother of this special boy. Neighbors spoke about seeing Julie pulling Ward all over town in his little wagon and seeing him out fishing and catching bugs (which he LOVED more than anything) with his brothers.

Bishop Milsaps of the Anglican diocese in middle TN presided. He married James and Julie and also baptised all their children. He recalled that when Ward was christened, he (Ward) kept babbling "amen" after everything anyone said.

After the service, there was a huge potluck lunch at the church for everyone. I literally cannot ever recall seeing more food. Everyone ate and ate and the children took off their shoes and ran around outside. It was really lovely. I saw people from the Bell Buckle community and Webb and other parts of my life whom I had not seen in years and years.

We also had several family get togethers over the weekend, including one at the Abernathys' last night before I drove back. It was great to see my children out playing frisbee and lacrosse with Gray and Jack, Ward's brothers, who seem to be doing okay, in large part due to the very graceful example of their parents. Julie told me that one of the last things she promised Ward in the hospital was that she would make sure their home remained a happy one for Gray and Jack, and that's what she intends to do. She is already setting a great example for them of bearing her grief with dignity, and even some joy.

To all of you who have sent or will send money for the Ward Anderson playground, we so appreciate it. I think it will be a wonderful memorial to Wardie and a great comfort to his parents, brothers, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins.

Thanks to those who came to the service and thanks for the good wishes sent by those who could not attend.

Love,

Katie, and the Anderson and Allison families