parenting

Lately I feel like the primary discipline of my parenting is to NOT react. One of my children tends to get very gloomy and whiny and my tendency is to want to tell him all the time that he needs to cheer up, look on the bright side, etc. But that's no good.

And my daughter - previously the sunniest, friendliest person in my world -- is entering a phase where she informs me that I am wrong and misguided a lot of the time. And she lets me know this via a tone she's never used with me before. And I find myself reacting negatively.

So what I'm really trying to do lately is just step back and not react, unless one of them tells me to fuck off or something, in which case I'd find it hard not to fuss at them. I am backing off commenting on the way in which they say things or the tone they use or the mood they are expressing.

It's hard, because I am a "fixer" by nature. I tend to want to control every detail of my environment and by extension, their environment. But I'm trying to let it go.