I am working on a story for a magazine about breastfeeding and guilt, or more specifically, how guilt is a motivator often used in successful public health campaigns in order to encourage healthier lifestyle choices/habits.
What are your thoughts on this hot button issue.
Comment below.
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46 comments:
I think the extreme sensitivity of some non-BFers to the issue is based in guilt. They know deep down that BF is better, but can't (or think they can't) BF for some reason.
I am sick and tired of hearing the excuse, "Oh, we can't make mothers feel guilty!" regarding promoting breastfeeding.
Nobody worries about making parents feel guilty for not using carseats, or spanking, or smoking.
If a woman has a valid reason that she cannot breastfeed--insufficient glandular tissue, for example--she might feel sad or sorry, but she wouldn't feel guilty.
I had to supplement my fifth baby with formula. She was failing to thrive, apparently because a slightly recessed chin made it hard for her to nurse effectively. We tried for 2.5 months to resolve the issue another way, going through hospitalization and tests and supplementing with pumped milk. But I have pump resistance, and in the end there was the choice of pumping every single second I wasn't nursing, or giving some bottles until her weight increased. Am I sorry I couldn't keep her on my milk alone? You bet. Am I sad that our experience was so rough? Absolutely. Do I feel guilty for using formula when it was medically necessary? Not at all.
I don't have kids, don't plan to have kids (too old), so I really don't have a horse in this race, but I hate the whole concept of guilting someone into doing something. It just makes me resentful, and I dig in my heels. If someone can't breastfeed for whatever reason, how do you think this makes them feel? I'm sure that breastfeeding is a great thing, but the fact that there's plenty of healthy adopted children (who aren't breastfed, obviously) proves that this isn't a life and death issue. I think we could use a little less divisiveness these days.
Lots of fat kids are generally healthy too. Lots of kids who are driven around sans carseats are never injured in an accident. Lots of babies who sleep on their tummies never die of SIDS.
However, it's important that people understand the epidemiological risks of choosing to overfeed kids, drive them around without carseats or put infants down for naps tummy forward.
Um, not funny! When you find out who it was share the info; let me guess, they were anonymous.
Yep, anonymous.
I sign my name to what I write. I think that's important.
This person doesn't. I recognize his/her misspellings and bad grammar. It's characteristic of a specific poster.
I think we need to really look at the various reasons mothers don't breastfeed before we lay on the guilt, especially in the case of poor and working mothers. I was able to nurse for three years because I had health insurance--and therefore access to a lactation consultant and to a pediatric ENT who fixed my son's tongue-tie. Without those two opportunities I would have given up for sure, and guilting me wouldn't have done anything but made me feel worse. I was also able to rent a hospital-grade pump when I needed one; without insurance it would have been prohibitively expensive and I probably would have lost some of my supply.
I'm also extremely sympathetic to pumpers at work. A friend of mine has to travel from one tower of her office building to another to reach a designated area with enough light, electrical outlets, and privacy for pumping. There aren't even sockets in the bathrooms. She's not allowed to pump in her cube.
If we're going to guilt mothers, in other words, I think we also need to guilt employers and the health-care system, since those are the bigger pieces of the puzzle.
I'm so sorry some jackass threw shit on your blog.
I think Marrit has some very important points: it is easy to sling guilt toward mothers who do not breastfeed. Many times the reason is extremely personal/medical that she doesn't feel like sharing with others. However, she is often be-littled and questioned by those who hardly know her.And employers are not understanding to mothers who need an area to express milk or nurse the child.Sometimes that is the reason mothers feel like they cannot breastfeed after returning to work.
And for the poster who slung poo, karma is commin at you!
I'm also not sure that guilt is a motivator. Perhaps if someone is on the fence about breastfeeding, but it really could go either way.
I had a very rough delivery (long labor, followed by a c/s and severe hemorraghing) and was not able to breastfeed my son. I had guilt galore heaped on me from my husband, friends, and worst of all, myself. My body simply would not cooperate and after 6 weeks of LCs, round the clock pumping, then latching, then making supplemental bottles I was an exhausted nutcase.
My mom had bf all 5 of us, tandem nursed, practiced childled weaning. I was a very smug pregnant woman who was never going to feed my baby that "artificial crap". Oh, I was also having a drug free birth, and would wear my baby 24 hours a day and only speak in soothing tones. Let's just say actual motherhood brought me down a few pegs. ;)
I know that breastmilk is nutritionally superior and have no issue with breastfeeding advocacy that supports that claim. Its a fact! I'm not sure that I can support laying a guilt trip on those who cannot or choose not to breastfeed. You need not sugarcoat the risks of not breastfeeding, but actively trying to make mothers feel guilt, when most of us feel an assload of guilt as it is, just seems wrong to me.
Guilt may have actually played a part in my throwing in the towel. I was tired of hearing how I wasn't trying hard enough, or how easy and natural and enjoyable breastfeeding was supposed to be. I certainly would not have been receptive to a guilt based message.
Heap some guilt on your rude anonymous poster instead! Sounds as though they certainly deserve it.
i've really become interested in breastfeeding as a public health issue (i am also interested in breastfeeding as an integral part of lifestyle that opts out of consumerism, materialism, imperialism and exploitation, and while that particular interest in breastfeeding is not merely personal, it is no longer primarily what motivates my lactivism.) as a public health issue, it is important for folks to understand that anecdotal evidence notwithstanding, breastfeeding is critically important, and the more folks who do it, the healthier we will become as a society (even if anecdotally speaking, this one can point to a breastfed child who suffered numerous earaches and that one can point to her rocket-scientist husband who was formula fed).
so i guess my feeling is whatever works, as long as it's ethical. is using guilt ethical? i dunno. just flat-out guilt, without education, support, access to healthcare, etc., seems to me to be unethical, but then it probably also is not effective, so on either count, i doubt it is a good tool. but if women who understand the facts about breastfeeding, and who have access to on-going support, decide not to breastfeed anyway and feel guilty, and then try to vilify those who are doing education and providing support, well, i'm not so sympathetic.
for the record, adopted babies are more and more being breastfed. my three year old son latched on the moment he arrived home from the nicu at 15 days old, and is still nursing (sigh).
also for the record, there are many more resources out there than many women realize. wic, for example (the government's women, infant and children program) has breastfeeding counselors at all their offices (at least in philadelphia, seehttp://www.northwic.org/Resources/breastfeeding.html), and will provide breastpumps (free? or at low cost? i'm not sure) to women who can't afford one. in philadelphia, there is also a non-profit practice of lactation counselors who take many insurance policies and have a sliding fee scale (the breastfeeding resource center: http://www.breastfeedingresourcecenter.org/index.html)
another factor that i think, unfortunately, is all too common (at least in my experience as a la leche league leader) is that pediatricians are still giving out advice that in any other area would constitute malpractice. i wonder that we don't do more to make them feel guilty, because they *are*.
It shouldn't be a matter of guilt, but education and help from other mothers who have chosen to nurse their children.
Mothers get all kinds of crappy guilt laid on them for everything they do or don't do.
All you nursing moms out there who want to encourage other women to try it, be encouraging! But don't be mean.
I blame doctors and formula companies!
One other thought with regard to using guilt as a motivator to breastfeed:
I am certain that had I continued trying to breastfeed that I would have suffered full-blown PPD. I was pretty damn close to losing my mind when I quit. I remember feeling terribly conflicted about putting my own needs first in any way, but knew I had to do *something* to get myself off the crazy nurse-pump-bottle repeat (but never sleep!) cycle that passed for my life when my son was a newborn.
Installing a carseat properly or not allowing your kids free access to processed junk food is a fairly straight forward choice. (Even allowing for socio-economic differences.) The initial feeding choice we make with our children is often loaded with other issues. Much more grey area.
You have people who probably could physically breastfeed by think its "icky" or would never consider doing so because its not a social norm where they live. Then you have the women that Marrit mentioned--who are not well supported at work, or who cannot afford extra help or do not know about the programs Marta mentioned. Or women who suffered from sexual abuse. Then you have women like me: relatively well-educated, relatively well off, women who fully understand the benefits of breastfeeding, but for whatever reason, cannot make it work.
Which one of these women really deserves an extra portion of guilt?
I don't like the idea of "using guilt" for any motivator. I think it's better to educate (but if women have guilt that shouldn't be a reason to stop educating), but more than that, work for changing our society to be more open to breastfeeding. Doctors need to know that they are NOT lactation experts, and need to keep their business out of breastfeeding. They should have a list of real lactation consultants on hand to give out if a mother is having trouble breastfeeding. And I suppose that the only thing we can do about public support of breastfeeding is to keep breastfeeding in public. Sorry, I won't be able to help with that endeavor anymore, but I did my part during my 5 1/4 years breastfeeding. :-) Though, perhaps a public campaign educating the public on accepting breastfeeding as natural would be in order.
Honestly, though, even though I vociferously kept formula OUT of my children, I don't think here in the states is the place where children are being affected the most by lack of breastfeeding. I think it's places where parents can't really afford to buy formula where they're being affected. I was formula-fed and I think I did pretty well, and I'm very healthy now. I think I was probably much more affected by not really bonding well with my mother than I was affected by physically not having breastmilk.
in my years as a NICU RN I have seen moms who could feed the world with the amount of milk they produce. I have seen moms eek out mere drops as a days worth and feel so inadequate. I have seen moms beat themselves up when their tiny babies have a setback and get sick blaming themsleves and their milk or lack of it. I have seen moms lose sight of the ultimate big picture when they can't breastfeed the bay they bore who survived in spite of incredible odds. I have assured some that un the good old days there were wet nurses not only because the privileged possibly shoe to not breastfeed but because some just couldn't for whatever reason.
I struggled big time with the decision not to induce lactation when adopting my son. In the long run that was the best decision as he had soooo many problems already related to being born 4 motnhs early and we had to focus on those so he could be the amazing boy he is today....also I would have never been able to nurse him at my breasts as a g-tube was his preferred means of eating. I learned from him the guilt my patients' mothers must feel as well as the fact that I still could bond, I still could snuggle skin to skin and we still share a unique connection just like I have with my exclusively breastfed babies.
Now having rambled all of that I can say while I am on board with this new public health campaign, I also see more heaping coals added to the hearts of mamas I know who truly would have given their lives for the chance to make enought to sustain their children or to even allow them to suckle at their breasts.
Mommy guilt is a powerful force and this campaign cuts right into it. I am waiting anxiously to see the impact that it will have.
As one who has breastfed three children off and on for about 20 years, I can say that guilt isn't a good motivator, and its cruelty flies in the face of what breastfeeding is all about anyway. (I breastfed my daughter for only 3 months in the early 1980s, then went on to breastfeed my first son for 3 years in the 1990s and my second son for the last 4 years—he weaned himself only a few months ago. I'm about to turn 47, and before my youngest weaned, I was starting to think I'd be one of the few women ever to be menopausal and still breastfeeding. ;-))
We do need some serious legislating to pry the formula makers' grip off American mothers. I think it should be illegal for formula makers to provide and hospitals to distribute formula samples. I also believe that formula should be available by prescription only. More here.
It seems we heap so much guilt on parents as it is. It's become parenting under a microscope. If your child skins a knee, you were negligent. Doesn't ace English, you should have read to him/her while still in the womb. Add to that the competitive mom mentality. Then when the darlings grow up, they blame their shortcomings on whatever you did/didn't do as a parent. Jeesh, I'm glad I decided not to have children years ago. I would be a nervous wreck trying to live up to everyone's impossible expectations.
Dedanaan you are exactly right! We mothers face enough guilt trips from do-gooders as it is! We live under a microscope; Why are your children dirty, don't you bathe them? Why are there bruises all down her shins, do you beat her? Why are you choosing public school, why are you choosing private school? In the end we have to do the best we can with what we've got!I could not breastfeed, and I do not feel guilt.My children are 12 and 16, if we had bonded any more closely we would have been one person.They are both in honors classes,physically fit,passionate about worthwhile causes,and amazing people.I do believe it is the best choice if possible,but there has to be a movement of "less guilt heaping" toward mothers in general.And for the record, their shins are always bruised...
Great conversation! Very interesting.
So let me ask this: what about carseats? Should parents use carseats if they aren't convenient? One of my children screamed his head off every time I put him in a carseat for at least 18 months. It was horrible to listen to him scream like that. I dreaded every time we had to get in the car. It stressed me out A LOT.
Would it have been a reasonable choice for me to ditch the carseat and let him just sit on the seat?
Nope. But that has nothing to do with breastfeeding or not.
I do not think this new campaign creates guilt.
Guilt seems to be a self-inflicted injury of the psyche created by a person when they know they could do better and don't even try. Instinctually women know when not to inflict guilt on themselves if they really tried or have health issues and breastfeeding did not work out for them. In a first world country like ours, having to give formula is not killing babies.
I have been helping women breastfeed professionally for fifteen years, the ones that try hard, using all the support and resources available (there is a lot of free and private support available for all breastfeeding families in every community) and they still cannot breast-feed for very real reasons, they typically do not feel guilty. They feel sad and disappointed and move on.
The women who outright choose not to try to breastfeed they start to feel guilty, and should! Women who are survivors of abuse do not usually feel guilty about not breastfeeding neither do the ones with operations that prevent the transfer of milk.
I have seen the women who choose purposely not to breastfeed start to feel guilty in retrospect and lash out using all types of derogatory language towards breastfeeding mothers that they are "fanatics", "nipple Nazi's" etc. . They are the ones that have the nasty reactions towards public health outreach and breastfeeding campaigns that it is creating guilt when we advertise and tell them breastfeeding improves the health of babies and mothers.
I understand this since know I am supposed to do cardio exercise to maintain optimal health and I do not, but I feel so guilty and embarrassed I know I could do better and still choose not to follow my doctors instructions or the national health policy about getting adequate formal exercise. I understand how I feel but would never blame all the research or exercise "fanatics" (see the word I choose) for making me feel guilty. I do this to myself since I know better and choose to ignore it like women who choose to ignore the recommendations to breastfeed.
Trying to make people feel guilty is a very persuasive Madison Avenue advertising and marketing technique to change all types of behavior. From selecting consumer products to the public service announcements for observing healthful guidelines. It does work because people don't like feeling guilty and it works to change future behavior.
P.S.
For the mom who hemorrhaged in childbirth. Hemorrhaging is a known factor in sometimes preventing an adequate milk supply no matter what she does the supply does not increase from a scant amount.
PPS.
Katie
Sorry to read about the troll, how about a ban on all anonymous replies.
In most states, using car seats is a law. You don't have a choice.
When I was a kid, this wasn't the case, and I flew around the car like a monkey. One of my favorite things was to ride in the back of a friend's parent's station wagon or that cubbyhole between the backseat and rear window of a Volkswagon bug. I also wasn't breastfed, and I was one of the healthiest, most active kids in school. Of course, I was lucky that I was never in a car involved in an accident. Maybe I would have gone through the windshield; maybe not.
Like in many areas of life, I don't think there's an absolute right way or wrong way of parenting, and trying to push your method on someone is akin to pushing your view of religion. As long as a child isn't being physically or mentally abused (and I know there's disagreements about what constitutes this) and is receiving plenty of love, leave the parents alone. Aren't we all under enough pressure these days?
As an addendum to what I just wrote, yes, kids can get killed in auto accidents if they aren't in car seats. I've never heard of a child dying because he/she was bottlefed as opposed to breastfed. Maybe it's happened, but even a news junkie like me hasn't heard about it.
I breastfed but had friends who didn't and I felt for them. At my playgroup, nearly all the moms breastfed out in the open and I noticed the one or two moms who weren't breastfeeding were constantly apologizing and explaining why breastfeeding hadn't worked for them.
I realize that breast is best, but most of us grew up on formula and we turned out okay. Breastfeeding is hard and it's definitely not for everyone. I don't appreciate the pressure society puts on moms to breastfeed, no matter how difficult a time they're having with it.
One of the things I find interesting about everyone's comments (or most of y'all's comments) is the idea that breastfeeding is "best" (whatever that means. It's a phrase that's become mostly meaningless) but that it really doesn't matter all that much since all of us know a breastfed baby who has gotten sick or a bottlefed baby who has done very well.
But there is a MOUNTAIN of research indicating that rates of morbidity and mortality among non-breastfed babies are MARKEDLY higher than breastfed babies, even when adjusting for other factors, like socioeconomic status, etc.
Have you guys actually read the research? Or do you just not believe it? I am not trying to be s amartass here; I am asking this as a serious question.
I mean, babies DO die from lack of breastfeeding. They do.
Check this out:
http://www.theecologist.org/archive_detail.asp?content_id=586
Read and let me know whatcha think ;-)
I wonder if this issue shouldn't be more approached on a statistical level. Everyone can give anecdotal evidence, but the issue isn't really about a handful of people you know as much as the big picture.
If some babies have died, according to the numbers, because of this choice, I sure as hell hope no one here was unfortunate enough to have that personal experience. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
Katie, I know babies die from risks incurred from not being breastfed. Mothers and babies also die from postpartum psychosis, which I truly feel I was not too far away from in the time I tried to make breastfeeding work. I suppose its possible, but I;ve yet to hear of a mother going over the deep end because her child disliked being buckled into a carseat.
Statistically infant deaths attributable to formula, are not on par with fatality rates for improperly or unrestrained children who die in car accidents. Its not even close. With all respect, I think the breastfeeding vs. carseat analogy is a poor one.
I'd like to ask you something: what would the point be in my heaping guilt on myself because I was unable to breastfeed two years ago? I hear you with regard to anecdotal evidence--the old "Well I did ___ and I'm fine is annoying. Even if my son was not fine, really what would be the point?
I have no difficulty understanding why promoting breastfeeding and support for mothers who breastfeed is important. You're right that its a public health issue. But, as I said earlier, its often not a clear or easy decision to make. So what good does guilt do in that case? Guilt based messages do not inspire me to "try harder" to breastfeed if I had another child. I like to think I would try and perhaps with a different child, and an easier delivery, I'd make it work. But not if it meant pushing myself into a mental institution. That's not conducive to bonding or establishing a breasfteeding relationship either. :)
Yes, I do believe the research. But children also die of chicken pox and I willingly chose to expose my children to the virus, instead of getting them the vaccine which children also die of. There are all kinds of things that compromise our health, and we choose from them our own personalized cocktail of non-health. After all, we will all die of something.
Conversely, playing Mozart to my babies all day long would have made them smarter, right? And yet I didn't do that.
I loved breastfeeding my children and I'm sad for anyone who chose to forego that experience, and even sadder for mothers who wanted to but couldn't.
There is a good study that came out in the journal Pediatrics last year. It found that formula feeding increased the risk of death in the first year by 26.6% when compared against exclusive breastfeeding. Bf babies were even more likely to survive accidents. Any breastfeeding was protective.
I think we need to look at the need for education. Families deserve the truth not watered down facts. Women need the correct information in order to make informed decisions. Many moms I have talked to don't feel guilty for not being able to breastfeed, they are angry if they didn't get the help and support they deserve.
You can read the study here: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/113/5/e435 or here is the abstract.
Breastfeeding and the Risk of Postneonatal Death in the United States
Aimin Chen, MD, PhD and Walter J. Rogan, MD
From the Epidemiology Branch, National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences, Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Objective. Breastfed infants in the United States have lower rates of morbidity, especially from infectious disease, but there are few contemporary studies in the developed world of the effect of breastfeeding on postneonatal mortality. We evaluated the effect of breastfeeding on postneonatal mortality in United States using 1988 National Maternal and Infant Health Survey (NMIHS) data.
Methods. Nationally representative samples of 1204 infants who died between 28 days and 1 year from causes other than congenital anomaly or malignant tumor (cases of postneonatal death) and 7740 children who were still alive at 1 year (controls) were included. We calculated overall and cause-specific odds ratios for ever/never breastfeeding among all children, conducted race and birth weight–specific analyses, and looked for duration–response effects.
Results. Overall, children who were ever breastfed had 0.79 (95% confidence interval [CI]: 0.67–0.93) times the risk of never breastfed children for dying in the postneonatal period. Longer breastfeeding was associated with lower risk. Odds ratios by cause of death varied from 0.59 (95% CI: 0.38–0.94) for injuries to 0.84 (95% CI: 0.67–1.05) for sudden infant death syndrome.
Conclusions. Breastfeeding is associated with a reduction in risk for postneonatal death. This large data set allowed robust estimates and control of confounding, but the effects of breast milk and breastfeeding cannot be separated completely from other characteristics of the mother and child. Assuming causality, however, promoting breastfeeding has the potential to save or delay ~720 postneonatal deaths in the United States each year.
Ok, I'm reading the linked piece. My first question is this: Where are the numbers they quote coming from? For example, with formula fed babies having twice the mortality rate in the first 6 weeks of life, are they talking about worldwide? Including babies born prematurely? How many of these babies are in daycare from a very young age, where the likelihood of exposure to illness is statistically higher?
I personally believe that all infants who are formula fed by choice and whose parents can reasonably provide for them, should use ready to feed formula.
I also do agree with the author's comment about the importance of self efficacy. That's very true. I also think the suggestions for how to improve breastfeeding rates are sensible. But...I just do not grasp the point of heaping more guilt on mothers--many of whom are already struggling with the transition to parenthood.
I am with Elizabeth. we will all die of something. I eat reasonably most of the time but I am not going to spend my life eating raw foods so I can live an extra two years or something. I excercise. maybe if I excercised more I would live a bit longer. I try to watch my kids, keep them safe but I refuse to damage them psychologically by going too far with that. people such as Katie have such tunnel vision about this one issue. and the irony (which she failed to get and whined about) is that she is SO careless to the point of stupidity about so many other things. she has statistics on breastfeeding yet she fails to realize in her fixation on this issue that blogging all about her wonderful breastfed kids (including practically a map to get to their school.) raises the odds substantially of some nutjob doing something crazy (she is not alone...I cant believe how dumb some of htese blogging parents are..my 13 year old has more sense on the web than a lot of adults..and she wasnt even breastfed, imagine that) she puts all sorts of crap on her blog htat her ex could and probably will use against her in court. she laughs about what a shitty driver she is (yeah she will be laughing real hard if she kills or maims someone and has to pay for it for the rest of her life, not to mention having it on her conscience if she has one in matters other than breastfeeding) and on and on and on..she writes poison pen blurbs about her kids classmates mothers..does she not think that will somehow get taken out on them if one of these kids or their families read that? I mean my middle schooler could figure out that writing stuff like that on the web is just about as stupid as you can get. not to mention the whinefest if someone says something she construes as "mean" never mind that Katie enjoys quite a bit having fun at other peoples expense. I dont think she was caring too much about other peoples feelings when she wrote crap about the other parents at her kids schools. I just sit slackjawed at the carelessness and stupidity yet this woman is absolutely FIXATED on the statistics that somehow "prove" that this one thing will protect your childs health.and I am not really even sure about that because it deoesnt match what I see IRL and I know personally from experience how statistics can be tweaked to say whatever you damn well want them to say. I dont doubt that to some degree it is "better" if you can breastfeed but I have always questioned to what degree. and the people that push this seem to be focused on this one thing only and sadly lacking in other areas of parenting. none of us are perfect. and Katie would do well to clean her own house instead of guilting the world about not breastfeeding.
Anon -
First of all, I have no idea what you are talking about half the time with regards to stuff I write. You refer to things I've never said or written and it baffles me. But whatever.
I am not "fixated" on this issue, but it's a public health issue about which I am passionate. Also, as a writer, I've developed a bit of an expertise or specialty in this area, which is rather a normal thing for a writer to do. SOme people become experts on lung cancer or motorcycle engines or food safety or childhood obesity. My area of specialization is breastfeeding.
And what does "stats can be tweaked to say whatever you want them to say" mean? Does this mean you have no confidence in ANY scientific or medical research?
well actually I was trained as a scientific researcher although I never completed my degree. so I know firsthand whereas you are parrotting what others tell you. as far as research goes...you know I dont pay a lot of attention to the "headlines" because a lot of it IS bunk. one day eggs are bad for you, the next uh oh, we read the data wrong, they are actually good for you. I think a lot of research is a huge waste of time and money. obviously things like cancer research, drug research, actually finding cures are not. but most of the "causes" turn out to be dead ends and the ones that arent were so common sensical that no research was needed anyway. (did we really NEED to prove that smoking is related to cancer..even without research its fairly obvious)
as far as you not "knowing" what I am talking about your memory is obviously rather faulty. or you are in complete denial of half the stuff you say and do on your blog. or both.
I think there is a difference between using guilt as a motivator on purpose and telling truths about formula which may cause those who choose to use it to feel guilty.
Medical professionals and the media need to be promoting breastfeeding as the standard for infant care. The studies Katie references should be out there for everyone to see. We should be telling mothers that formula feeding carries certain risks, rather than that breastfeeding carries certain benefits.
This isn't the same as writing a series of articles saying, "Oh, you selfish women. You are bad mothers. You need to breastfeed." That would be unkind, untrue, and ineffective. Some mothers may feel guilty when the truth about human milk vs. formula is put out there. But the intention isn't to make them feel guilty, just to give them the facts.
You ask about car seats--what about spanking? No child ever died from being disciplined by a smack on the bottom (I'm not talking about child abuse here). But all the parenting magazines out there, even the mainstream ones, are against physical punishment. They don't worry about making spankers feel guilty, do they?
I have spanked my kids. I do feel guilty about it. And I ought to.
Leslie,
Perhaps I misunderstood the intent of this discussion completely then? I read this as how do people feel about using guilt as a motivator to sell women on the importance of breastfeeding. Maybe not to say those who do not breastfeed for 6 months are "bad mothers", but to imply something along those lines.
I totally agree with you that full information should be made available so women can make informed decisions. A bit of residual guilt from making a difficult choice is a totally different experience than having guilt heaped on you while in the midst of making a painful decision or after the fact.
As for women who just do not want to try to breastfeed, I will admit I have some difficulty understanding where they're coming from. However, I feel pretty hypocritical entering a debate about their choice, knowing that many would look at my situation and decide I gave up too easily, or should have done X, Y and Z.
Jamie-With regard to the stats about formula vs. car accidents. I based my comments on the fact ( or so I thought!) that car accidents are the leading cause of death for people under 30. It would be interesting to compare closer samples. If formula feeding kills more children in a certain age group, then it obviously should be listed as a leading cause of death.
Karrie,
I don't know that you misunderstood--I know Katie did say that in the OP. I'll have to read her article when she's finished.
I'm mainly reacting to many, many comments I've read over the years which have said that even just reprting the unvarnished truth about bf vs. formula is "mean" because it will make moms feel guilty.
Leslie
In this discussion, I've only seen one or two comments discussing the role employment/family economics play in the decision to breastfeed. Lots of companies give just six weeks of maternity leave, usually without full pay; smaller companies (like mine) aren't required by law to give *any* maternity leave. Last weekend I was talking with a woman who said she stopped breastfeeding after two months because she had to go back to work, and pumping wasn't an option. She loved nursing her daughter and wanted to continue, but family finances dictated that she work instead. I imagine there are plenty of women like her, who would give breastfeed a try or do so for longer if they had better maternity benefits or improved job security. And of course, single working mothers who want to breastfeed have it even harder. My first child is due in December and I definitely plan to breastfeed, but I also recognize how lucky our family is that I won't feel pressured to wean early so I can go back to work full-time.
I believe lack of adequate PAID family leave, and lack of on-site or very nearby childcare is at the top of the list of reasons why many women stop breastfeeding very early.
I am in favor of a payroll tax to fund generous paid maternity leave for all employees.
btw, hi Katie! Looking forward to seeing all of you over Labor Day weekend at the newest baby's christening. Brian and I will be the godparents. :) No tequila this time...
Oh great, Jamie. Thanks for sharing. Now I have one more blog to follow and feel "guilty" for reading instead of I dunno, cleaning the house (ha!), while my son naps. :)
Anonymous, maybe you think you're with me, but I'm NOT with you. I mostly agree with Katie, and I do about this issue, too. I'm a big supporter of breastfeeding. I was just trying to have a *nuanced* conversation. I think breastfeeding ought to be talked up and educated about and all the things necessary to convince parents that it is absolutely one of the best things you can do for your child. But I don't think it should be legislated, and I don't think "using guilt" is a good idea (just because I don't think guilt is a good way to get people to do things in general). I don't advocate dancing around the issue because some mothers will feel guilty.
Blogging Baby readers gnashed their teeth over this one(read all the comments) at: http://www.bloggingbaby.com/2006/06/15/the-breast-feeding-militia/
someone sent me this article about an issue totally unrelated to the booby militia but I found it very relevent. this is a lot of why I place little stock in the breastfeeding studies. all the people doing these studies start out as rabid tit nazis. I thought it was legit researcher bias, just seeing things thru the cloud of ones expectations. however it could be and probably is waaaaay more nefarious than that.enjoy. and dont feel guilty Karrie. I know everyone thinks I am mean to point out Katies failings but here she is fixated on this one thing (that may not even be all that important) when there are such humongous lapses in other areas. some of which simply defy common sense.
so here it is.
Political Correctness can be just as blind as ones
opposition to medicine for religious reasons.
Gay activits do not care about scietific facts, they care
only about futhering an agenda. They Political Correct science
and scientist as a way to censor opposing view points.
Political Correctness - In Science, Scholarship And Statues
By Paul Craig Roberts
There have always been liars, but until recent years liars were rare
among scientists and scholars. The only agenda scientists and
scholars had was truth. They didn't always succeed in finding truth,
but it was their goal.
In recent years we have seen the advent of a new breed of scientist
and scholar to whom ideological or political agendas are more
important than truth. Hoping to close two national forests,
government scientists planted evidence that the forests were
inhabited by an endangered species of lynx.
The scientists' dishonesty undermined a three-year study and
confirmed suspicions that some government scientists fake studies in
order to control environmental policy. Only highly politicized
scientists would behave in ways that endanger the authority of
science.
Scholars, too, have become enamored with causes that are more
important to them than truth. According to news reports, Emory
University historian Michael Bellesiles apparently believes so
strongly in gun control that he invented a history for the purpose of
undermining the Constitution's Second Amendment, the right of
citizens to own guns.
Professor Bellesiles' politically correct book, "Arming America," was
awarded the Bancroft Prize, a prestigious award for historians. But
scholars examining the work say that Professor Bellesiles'
conclusions are based on made-up and nonexistent sources.
Professor Bellesiles argues that gun ownership was so rare among
early Americans, even on the frontiers, that no one would have cared
enough about the right to give it constitutional protection. He
claims to have studied many wills and to have found scant evidence of
guns being bequeathed to heirs.
When skeptical scholars checked his sources, they found he claimed to
have studied wills of people in Colonial Rhode Island known to have
died without wills. He also claims to have studied probate records in
San Francisco for the years 1849-59. However, the city's librarians
say no such records exist. They were destroyed in the 1906
earthquake. [See "Fraud in Michael Bellesiles's Arming America", in
PDF.]
The appearance on the scene of scientists and scholars who betray the
public's trust in their integrity in order to advance ideological
agendas is frightening. It means that the enculturation of scientists
and scholars is failing in the graduate schools where they are
trained.
When the canons of scholarly objectivity become widely abandoned,
truth ceases to guide decisions. Public policy outcomes and court
cases depend on which side has the best propaganda and can more
effectively demonize or vilify the other party. Education becomes the
propaganda of the group that controls the schools.
Indeed, education is already being pried loose from any relation to
truth. Marxists denied the existence of any truth by claiming
that "truth" was nothing but the expression of class interests--a
claim that allowed Marxists to ignore facts that undermined their
arguments.
Class Marxism has given way to Cultural Marxism which claims truth is
just an expression of race interest, gender interest, and sexual
orientation. According to these multiculturalists, there is a
different "truth" for men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals,
blacks and whites, able-bodied and disabled.
All these "truths" are claimed to be equally valid. Therefore, there
is no valid basis for defending American culture from an influx of
third world cultures. Anyone who complains about the transformation
of America into a tower of Babel is dismissed as racist or
xenophobic.
Cultural Marxism has achieved a dominant position in American
education. Consequently, there is a breakdown in enculturation. An
appreciation of Western civilization is not being passed on even to
native born whites attending the best universities.
Before our very eyes history is being transformed into politically
correct fantasy. Everyone knows the photograph of the three white
firemen who raised an American flag on September 11 on the rubble of
the World Trade Center. A 19-foot bronze statue of the photo has been
commissioned for the site - only first the race of the firefighters
had to be changed.
A statue true to fact is "insensitive" and "divisive." A clay model
shows one white, one black and one Hispanic.
Firefighters are complaining that a historical event has been turned
into a politically correct event. Carlo Casoria, who lost his
firefighter son in the rubble, said: "They're rewriting history in
order to achieve political correctness." The multicultural reply
is: "The artistic expression of diversity [s]hould supersede any
concern over factual correctness."
Multicultural diversity has made such a hash of truth that the U.S.
cannot truthfully represent in a public monument the defiant
response, burned in every American's memory, to al Qaeda's successful
attack on the World Trade Center.
Is the next step to put us in reeducation camps and erase our
memories?
Or is that what the universities are doing?
Paul Craig Roberts is the author (with Lawrence M. Stratton) of The
New Color Line : How Quotas and Privilege Destroy Democracy
I might also add that even if one is correct guilt is a very bad motivator. I dont know too many people who have stopped smoking or lost weight because of being guilted about the effects on their health.
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