why get married?

More and more people are LIVING TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE, which I think is a very, very wise idea. I certainly would have done it if I hadn't had children. I wasn't going to bring a man into our household without showing them through some serious symbolism - a wedding with everyone we loved in attendance - that this was important and permanent. But if I were single, without children, I'd definitely want to live together for at least a year or two before considering marriage.

And in this same vein, may I just say how annoying I find it when people say that it should be harder to get married, and how it's "way too easy to get divorced these days"

Listen up: having been through a divorce, I can assure you that it is costly, painful, takes forever (mine took almost two years), and not "easy" in any sense of the word.


Sarada said...

But all the sociological data says that those living together before marriage are more likely to have their marriage end in divorce.

Anonymous said...

Living together before marriage is a bad idea. I have tried it myself and it dosen't work. When living together there is always a mental safety valve that tells you if things go south, after you seperate all the garbage you share,you can walk. Unfortunately, it usually doesn't get uninstalled after marriage. Besides, no matter what you do, it takes about 1 year to figure out all the toothpaste and toilet paper nonsense that drives you and the other person crazy. Without a real committment, it is much easier to hit the road. Maybe people should just keep their pants up and legs together for a little longer. Of course, that would be too easy.

Anonymous said...

It worked for me. We dated for 2 years, lived together for 3.5 and have now been married for 15. We worked out all the dumb stuff without having the pressure of 'oh my god we have to make this work because we're MARRIED.' The #1 reason people stay married is if they are both committed to making it a lifetime commitment. I don't think it matters whether you live together first or not.