ted & sylvia

I've always been (like most smart,literary girls - it's a bit of a cliche, I know ;-) been very interested in Sylvia Plath. I became even more interested in her relationship with Ted Hughes when my own marrage fell apart in a way that was reminiscent of their own ending - sans me sticking my head in the oven - and at the same time I read "Wintering," by Kate Moses (who was my editor at Salon).

I just finished "Her Husband" by Diane Middlebrook and was reminded yet again of how divided people are on how their relationship ended and where the fault lies.

In my opinion, Sylvia was no picnic to live with. She was driven, bipolar, somewhat controlling, and a genius. But she was also a loving wife and mother who never did anything to deserve the way TH ended their marriage, with astonishing speed and cruelty.

(My own family has been deeply marred by male infidelity. We've had several instances of it over a couple of generations that have really caused deep wounds, so I admit to a bias against men who deal with their marital dissatisfaction with emotional or sexual infidelity.)

I do also think that if people had had a better understanding of mental illness at that time, no one who cared for her would have left SP to stay alone for the winter months following his betrayal in a freezing London flat with no telephone, no washer and dryer and two babies in diapers. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

I've yet to read Ted Hughes' parting shot in "Birthday Letters," but that's up next.

So what are others' thoughts on these two, their writing, their marriage, and the nasty end?