a good man

You know when you were a teenage girl, and you would watch those romantic comedies - with Tom Hanks maybe? And in the movie, the wife would be pregnant, and the guy would be just wonderful to her? He'd rub her feet, and bring her pickles and ice cream in the middle of the night, and offer to let her take a nap in the afternoon while he did the dishes? Remember that kind of cute-movie-hero-guy-with-a-pregnant-wife?

Well guess what? I'm married to that guy.

Now don't go throwing up or anything, or attacking your own worthless husband or boyfriend in frustration, but I have to tell you that there is one real, flesh and blood man alive today who actually treats his pregnant wife that way.

Let me give you just a small sampling of nice things my man has done for me in the past week:

-Rubs my feet and legs every night without me ever asking

-Cleans up every night after supper without mentioning he is going to do it or has done it

-Lays out my slippers (which he and the children bought me) next to my side of the bed so I don't have to step on cold hardwood floors when I get up one million times each night because my belly has shifted onto my bladder

-Tells me I look wonderful several times each day, but not in a smarmy or obnoxious way.

-Actually reads the baby-related articles and websites I send him

-Brings the dogs in and out of the house when they need to, and feeds them, and lets them sit on his lap when he's reading, even though they are my dogs, not his, and really, he'd prefer we had no small, yappy dogs

-Helps kids with homework I don't know how to do

-Fixed the upstairs bath tub

-Has fetched me cold, carbonated drinks on more than one occasion at inconvenient times because I just told him I really had to have one.

-Asks me how I am feeling

-Suggests that I should go take a warm bath and relax after work

-Did I mention he rubs my feet and legs every night?


Anonymous said...

If it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

Catherine K. said...

I am so happy for you. Everyone deserves that kind of loving care. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't found it myself. I'm not pregnant or anything, but I still can't believe the way I am treated. My boyfriend was parking my car on the street in front of my house, and he took the time to turn it around facing the other way. When I asked him what he was doing he said, "Well by the time you leave for work, the sun will have melted off the ice for you since I won't be here to do it for you". HOW THOUGHTFUL! We're lucky girls!!!

Anonymous said...

as I started to get the itchy belly my hubby would rub cocoa butter on it every night. plus he would tie my shoes for me when I got too big-of course to balance out the universe he would laugh at my waddle :)

Anonymous said...

If it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

Not true. After years of dating guys who were really thoughtless and unkind, I have now been married for six years to a genuinely Good Guy. He treats me wonderfully and I never take it for granted. I try to always reciprocate. If you think it's too good to be true, you are dating the wrong men.

Blessings to Katie and her husband.

Anonymous said...

mmmm. I guess because I have been married along time I KNOW that no one is that perfect and sooner or later they WILL display a facet of their personality that is not so pretty. My husband is one of the most decent ethical human beings on the planet HOWEVER he sure has an inner asshole that can display itself from time to time.(he would say the same about me..thats REAL love when you know what an ass someone can be and you love them anyway) I have just been around too much and I don't trust anyone who seems "too good to be true". Obviously there are jerks out there but some of the biggest ones come dressed up as perfection. I don't buy the perfect bit because sooner or later SOMETHING is going to leak out and then its gonna be U-G-L-Y. I hate to say it but if someone is TOO perfect I wonder what it is they are trying to pull off. Maybe thats not fair but I have just seen too much. I like real people, not perfect ones.

Catherine K. said...

I don't think she's saying he is faultless!

Anonymous said...

She never said the man was perfect. She just named some small but sweet ways he's really good to her while she is pregnant.

Sheesh. You are cranky.

Anonymous said...

I love my husband, but when I read stuff like this, it makes me sad. The truth is, he doesn't treat me like I always imagined a husband would treat his wife and the mother of his kids. I think he loves me but he just takes me for granted. I'm a golf widow on weekends, and that was true while I was pregnant too. I couldn't find him on the golf course when I went into labor!

Katie S. said...

its not too good to be true!
it actually can get even better, i know hard to believe...
with our second child on the way my husband gets more incredible with each passing year. he sent me this email the other day:
"I was just thinking about how much I love you.
I feel like I’m married to a great person, a great woman, a great wife, a great mom, and a great friend."
He is not perfect nor me but we try, try, try and try hard each day to treat each other with love
and respect. Yeah, some times the hair on his nose bugs me but i see his deeper beauty. Yeah, sometimes when he is playing guitar i wish he was foldin laundry. Yeah, I wish he would see that we need milk. But my house is filled with lots of love, music and 7-11 is just downe the street.
p.s. I was with someone else for 12 yrs and even in the beginning it was nothing like this.

Anonymous said...

It is so great when a husband is attentive.My husband was wonderful while I was pregnant.Even now if we are grocery shopping together he refuses to let me carry the groceries or put them in the car.It's the little things that make you love them more and more year by year.He can be a huge annoyance,but he's a lovable annoyance.

mamalife said...

You deserve it! And I have a feeling the goodness goes both ways!

UUmomma said...

Kate! mine is like that also!
we are such lucky broads!
last week he went to the 24 hour ralphs to get me watermelon (not cheap in cal in feb) cuz nothing else would stay down (iam 11 weeks pg)

emily smith said...

Various members of my husband's family have been visiting over the past few weeks, and after spending a great deal of time with the in-laws, all I can say is this: While mine isn't perfect, I am grateful and amazed at what a good husband and dad he is. Also, spending time around the in-laws has left me no doubt that Henry, Brian and I have truly formed our OWN family.

Sounds like Jon is doing everything right! Good for you, Katie!

Anonymous said...

you know...this sort of reminds me of these oft married celebrities: gush gush I finally met my soul mate...yadda yadda yadda. Its just too, too...well just too...
Then a few years later the steam runs out and well, they weren't the soul mate after all because now the person has REALLY met their soul mate and was just kidding themselves about this one.
I feel for the woman who is the golf widow: you are surrounded by a culture that tells you that men will be PERFECT. Either they are ready at your every beck and need even before you ask OR they are wife beating assholes. Nothing in between for real people. I just don't buy that someone can keep up a level of sainthood indefinately. Most of the really ugly midlife crises I have seen have come at the hands of "perfect" spouses. It wasn't about love: it was about performing to fend off their own insecurities. Listen, I can see my husband brushing off my car or whatever the thing is with the snow but before and after it he would have managed to do a few things totally insensitive that of course we later discussed and hammered out. I just don't buy that genuine people are like this all the time. They are also still in the honeymoon phase where things are just fantastic and the ball hasn't come crashing down yet.

Anonymous said...

My hubby is like this. Offering to run to the nearest 24hr grocery which is 30 minutes away to pick me up something. He rubs my hips at night after I've had a hard day. I'm pregnant now but he does this no matter if I'm expecting or not. We are so lucky!!


Anonymous said...

Oh hell,here we go again.(10:47)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's tough when you realize your 'perfect' man has faults. But like another poster said you love 'em anyway. And the more nice things they do, the easier it is to overlook the bad stuff.
My husband's generous, smart, hardworking and kind but very forgetful sometimes. So we work around it.
People need to support each other's marriages, not put down someone who has found happiness. 3 years from now, if KAG posts that Jon has done something dumb or disappointed her, i won't think "told ya it was too good to be true" I'll think, well that's the way it is. People who are just waiting for happy people to fail must be pretty miserable themselves.

MomnPop said...

Hard to believe such a sweet and loving post would be controversial. I have no trouble believing there are good men in this world. I've known many. Also, you get back what you put out. I notice the nicer I am to my husband, the nicer he is to me. Right on to Katie and her husband.

Anonymous said...

I have no doubt that there are also decent people either. I know them. I am married to a very decent guy. I just don't buy the sainthood thing.

Anonymous said...

rather interesting when Katie was so upset a while back over her ex's new girlfriend "bonding"with the kids how she does the same