Saturday

love

Not long ago, someone I care about a lot told me he has not been in love since 1996 or so (he's 37 and has never been married). This struck me as highly unusual.

I started thinking about what it means to say you are in love, romantically speaking, as opposed to just liking somebody a lot. What does it mean to be in love? How do you know you are actually in love? How long does it/should it take to know that you love someone? What about love at first sight? Is it possible? Can you love more than one person (again, romantically) at the same time?

What are your thoughts? Comment below.
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5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I fall in love pretty easily. I hurt myself tripping over love recently. I didn't think that would happen again, so, strangely, I was glad when it did. I have learned that what you tell yourself is love can be security, can be attention, can be desperation. Someone asked me (regarding the circumstances of my divorce) was it hard for me to trust women now? It's hard for me to trust PEOPLE now, because I realized I don't understand their motivations, because I am naive and simple. So I don't know what love is. I know I used to have it and it was a big fat house of slippery cards.
All I want now is companionship with somebody who likes to fuck me...is that love? I feel very cynical about the possibilty of it (I've come close, but they've all eventually moved on to someone else) but I enjoy the company of women more now that I know they will simply abandon you when you cease to amuse them. I don't feel tied to any one woman, and I find I like to talk to them because...I guess b/c they're women. They're smart. Funny. I just realized I do not trust women at all. Or anyone. the few women I do trust seem like naive babies to me. Trust is a male invention I think.

What was the question?

Sunday, April 2, 2006 at 12:18:00 AM GMT
Anonymous said...

More and more, I think that love is less some magical sort of thing and more just the firing of your hormones when you meet a potential mate (see the January 2006 issue of National Geographic Magazine). The hormones chill out about the time you've done something stupid like move in with the person, and then you're left wondering what all the fuss was about and what in the hell prompted you to do something so daft.

Can you be in love with more than one person at a time? Yes. I have, anyway.

Sunday, April 2, 2006 at 1:30:00 AM GMT
Laura said...

so many questions....
initially, for me, love was thinking about him ALL the time and feeling happy, warm and safe when I did.
As time has marched on, the love grew as I watched him literally fall in love for the first time with his first born. It grew and grew even more as we had five children total. The fifth is adopted and well, the love grew even more out of admiration as he saw what I saw in our son and made it clear that he could love another's child as if he was his own along with the fact that this child's eventual outcome and quality of life was/is unknown.
Today that love is strengthened by our differences: Rebublican/Democrat, coke/pepsi, rock and roll. country western, atheletics/couch potato. Some days we frustrate eachoter to the point of distraction and yet we still share a love that has evolved into a deep, multi-faceted thing that I just can't describe. IT ebbs and flows and has weathered much but it is still all good twenty three years later.

Monday, April 3, 2006 at 4:03:00 AM GMT
Anonymous said...

Hey stud, it was more like 1999. Still a long time isn't it.
In general, love isn't the main determinant. Most people fall in love with someone that their parents' matchmaker would have selected for them anyway. Not many women fall in love with the guy digging through the dumpster, even though he really might have a lot to say.

Monday, April 3, 2006 at 4:16:00 PM GMT
Anonymous said...

If one is living in accord,
Love feels right. THere is no struggle with love.

Monday, April 3, 2006 at 6:29:00 PM GMT

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