Thursday

badday

I've had a crummy day.

The weather was nasty and as I get older I realize I need sunshine to keep from feeling blue-er than usual.

Various kid-related needs kept me driving all over creation; I think I drove well over 100 miles today. If there is one thing I could change about the logistics of my daily life, it would be that I wouldn't have to drive so much.

And my teenage son is really, REALLY mad at me because I've had to make some decisions for him that he's not happy with. And he really knows just how to push my buttons. I think the relationship between firstborns and their parents is often more intense, more painful, more passionate than the one a mother has with subsequent children. I am a firstborn and let me just apologize to my parents right now for all the undue drama I created. I know I said unkind things to them when I was angry at age 15, 16, 19 and I'm sorry. Now I know how you felt.

3 comments:

Tennessee Jed said...

Amen on the sunshine sister! I just want to run away to the equator most days when it comes to all my relationships. It seems all my love is good for is to get me taken advantage of, used up and manipulated...I need a tan.

Anonymous said...

When my daughter was 19 she apologised for all of the horrible things she said and did when she was 13-14. We both burst into tears. I hadn't realized how deep the hurt of those years had been for both of us. Those years were awful.
It seems like the closer the relationship the more horrible they have to be to become there own person. My daughter is 21 now and is, mostly, wonderful.

He will come back to you. You are a good mom. Treat yourself gently.

Anonymous said...

Be careful! remember "Repo Man" premise that the more you drive, the dumber you get.
Bet you can't wait till the teenager can drive. Then HE can drive the 100 miles a day...or, dare I suggest, cut out some of the activities that cause you to have to drive this much.
You're running the house. You're the decideer on how many places everybody needs to go in a day.