Saturday

sleep training

I really enjoy reading the blog Dooce.com. And I really, really try not to sound judgmental when I discuss other people's parenting. I swear. I really do.

But gee whiz, I surely was bothered reading THIS POST at Dooce.com today in which the author describes "sleep training" her infant.

She writes that on the night they laid down the law about nightwakings, the baby "screamed and screamed" for hours. And that the parents decided the baby - an infant - would have to go six hours each night without nursing OR sucking on a pacifier.

It "worked." The baby is now a toddler who sleeps 14 hours per 24 hour period.

The thing is, there are lots of ways you could theoretically "train" an infant or child to refrain from behaviors that are inconvenient for parents to deal with. Hell, sometimes I feel like putting duct tape over my teenage son's mouth because he's driving me nuts with his arguing. It might serve to shut him up, but that doesn't make it a good idea.

My children are 8, 10 and 14 years old now and although I remember being quite exhausted at various times when I had three babies/very young kids in the house, I also remember those quiet night nursings so, so fondly. I know it's unbelievably trite to say, but those of you with babies will not BELIEVE how quickly that stage is over.

I can't speak to how anyone else SHOULD do it, but I can tell you that I do not regret one moment spent soothing my babes back to sleep in a quiet household, with the moon shining in through the window...

It's a lovely, lovely time of mothering.
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7 comments:

Lisa said...

I agree 100%. Thank you for the post.

Saturday, April 1, 2006 at 1:18:00 AM GMT
Anonymous said...

katie, i absolutely agree with you. so irresponsible of her to post that, knowing what kind of following she has and that her readers hang on her every word and want to imitate her. it's not that she chose to do that with her own child that bothers me, but the ways the "information" she posted could be misconstrued and misused by people who are going to try "sleep training" now, not having read a book or done any research on their own. i can't even read the comments on there, it was making me sick to my stomach.

i've read her blog for several years now but won't be visiting it again.

Saturday, April 1, 2006 at 2:05:00 AM GMT
Anonymous said...

I read that post at Dooce today too, and while I have chose not to let my child ever cry it out (she is now 23 months old and does not sleep on her own through the night) I have to accept that that is what some parents do...From all accounts her daughter is well-adjusted and happy and smart and well bonded with her parents...if we cannot agree on a diversity of parenting (within reason) then where are we?

It is important to note two things, one, that she was dealing with a severe anxiety disorder at the time and two that she states that what she did was not right for every family, only hers....

Saturday, April 1, 2006 at 2:48:00 AM GMT
Kizz said...

Thanks for that, Sarah. I don't always agree with anyone on the internet and it's certainly up to each individual to decide what they read. However, to call Dooce's post irresponsible feels as though it comes from someone who hasn't read about Dooce's emotional challenges or the full post which, as you say, states that this was only right for her family and links to the books that she read to come to her decision etc.

Saturday, April 1, 2006 at 4:21:00 AM GMT
Anonymous said...

I just have to chime in again...
Kewi, why does Dooce have to mention the latest Ferber hoopla? All she said was that she read his book (along with several others) and that she used some of his methods...I didn't read anything about her letting her daughter wallow in her own vomit for hours. And also, I am alarmed at the idea that because any of his read her blog that we really know anything about her...you mention her having issues with her background: she has written that it is one thing that she will never fully discuss on her blog...you are inferring a lot about her from the things she chooses to share. None of us are in her home with her or can appreciate the dynamics of her family. As for "self-inflicted parenting difficulties" isn't that really what we are all faced with?

While I understand that she is a public persona and therefore opens herself up to scutiny; I think it is sad to see her insulted for choosing to get her daughter to sleep a certain way: perhaps it is not what we agree with and less than ideal but she is one woman honestly sharing personal information: we should take it at that and be done with it---if you think she has abused her child than you have a responsibilty to become involved and not write about it in a comment section.

Saturday, April 1, 2006 at 8:58:00 PM GMT
Ms. Booty Homemaker said...

"I can't speak to how anyone else SHOULD do it, but I can tell you that I do not regret one moment spent soothing my babes back to sleep in a quiet household, with the moon shining in through the window...

It's a lovely, lovely time of mothering."

amen to that!

Sunday, April 2, 2006 at 12:46:00 AM GMT
The Wonderful Wonderful World Of Us! said...

I agree 100% as well!!!
Now with baby #2 on the way...I am a little nervous but I am not doing anything different then what I did with my first...be there 24/7!!!

Saturday, April 8, 2006 at 5:13:00 AM GMT

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