I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who has learned that her breast cancer, which was initially treated three years ago when she found a lump in her breast, has spread to her liver, lungs and spine. Her attitude is so positive that it really makes me feel like a chronic whiner. I know she's scared to death but she's so brave. They are starting her back on chemo and some other nasty cancer-fighting drugs that make her feel physically awful.

This particular friend has taught me a lot of good lessons since I met her ten years ago. She was my neighbor at our house - the one we lived in for seven years before my divorce. When we first moved in, I thought she and I would have ZERO in common. She's older than I am and pretty quiet and very conservative. She's always lived within five square miles of where she lives today - her whole life. She doesn't work outside the home - her entire world revolves around her daughter - who is now in 6th grade - and her husband, whom she met in elementary school.

Suffice it to say that we are very un-alike in a myriad of ways ;-)

But guess what? She's awesome and we ended up becoming close buddies. It took several years of living next door before we really "discovered" each other. Our daughters, mine two years younger than hers, became best friends, and she ended up becoming my babysitter when I was writing from home. She was truly a second mother to my youngest son when he was a baby/toddler/preschooler. And she helped me so much during the painful period just before and after my divorce. I remember I was freaking out one night about the whole thing and banged on her door at midnight asking if she had ANYTHING to calm me down in her medicine cabinet. She gave me her leftover valium from one of her chemo treatments. I took it and went right to sleep. There aren't many friends you can hit up for valium in the middle of the night without them even asking any questions ;-)

I haven't seen her enough in the past year and one of my New Year's resolutions is to make more time for her and her husband and daughter, whom I love a lot. And I am really hopeful that this health setback is just that - a temporary setback. This is a person who should be in our world as long as possible because she makes it a better place. And I love her. I need to tell her that more clearly.

-kag