Christmas really begins for me today.

My children will be home from a few days with their father and they are all out of school as of today. Tonight they (and the cousins) and I will make gingerbread people (and gingerbread horses and guitars and amplifiers and all the things that my kids love...) and listen to Christmas music.

In some ways, my house doesn't feel like home unless the children are there. When they are away -- even though I do enjoy getting a break sometimes -- it's like all the oxygen is sucked out of the house and it doesn't fill back up until they are back.

It's weird to see a house full of children's things that sit untouched for days at a time when they are with their father. (I'm sure he feels the same way when they are not with him). I usually keep the doors to their bedrooms shut when they are gone because they look so empty.

I felt this MUCH more acutely the first year we did the two households thing; now it's more like a dull ache sometimes than the sharp sting that it was then.

But I cannot wait to get them home tonight.