free at last...

And another note on the end of my relationship:

It was troubled, from the beginning. There were complicating factors and red, screaming flashing warning lights that I ignored. So although we had a good deal of fun together, this guy and I, it was problematic and fraught with tension from day one to the last day.

And tonight, for the first time since we broke up, I am realizing how very glad I am to be free of that tension. I've been tense and upset far more than I should have been for the past few months. I tend to be a fairly jolly person and I've been way too tense and worried.

Tonight I babysat my niece and nephew for a few hours (my own children are with their father for a few more days - their holiday visit) and actually enjoyed it because my mind wasn't elsewhere. And now I am home in my own cozy bed, with my cat and one of the dogs, listening to this really great new CD from the Westside Daredevils (which you should rush out and buy immediately, by the way. Pop perfection. Nice guys, too).

It's nice to be in my own space, in my own house, alone, relaxed, with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate, and just a noticeable lack of stress.

Don't get me wrong; I wish it had worked out. I really do. I really dig this guy. But since it isn't going to work out, there's just a feeling of relief that comes with letting go of the whole thing and enjoying the best parts of doing my own thing, you know?

Tomorrow night I am going out with friends for New Year's Eve to see Todd Steed, Mic Harrison and Scott Miller play at two different venues. I plan to try to drag my sister out as well. And then a favorite pal is having a big shindig on New Year's Day, to which he claims 70 or more people are coming, so that should be fun. And then on Monday my children come home after one whole week away. So it should be a lovely weekend.

Life is good. Hope yours is too.