the other moms

I dyed (sp?) my hair red yesterday, but it turned out sort of purple. I kind of like it, but I think my 9 year old daughter Jane and I have reached a new place in our mother-daughter relationship because Jane is suddenly objecting quite strenuously to the purpleness of my hair. Previously, she seemed rather enthralled with anything I did to my hair, asking if she could do it too.

Jane and I spent the afternoon together yesterday, just the two of us, doing some shopping and then riding horses together, and she repeatedly expressed her opinion that my hair is simply not acceptable.

"Mom, you are too old to have purple hair," she said. "Can't you just get blond highlights like the other moms?"

Last week, my son Henry, who is 13, also told me he wishes I were more like "the other moms," who in his milieu, are all considerably older than I am (I had H when I was 23 - they all had their kids when they were 33). "The other moms" all apparently know how to cook, never say "fuck," or lose their keys, have televisions at home, and work very few hours, allowing them to do a lot of volunteering at his school.

When pressed, however, Henry's main concern seemed to be that I should turn down Death Cab for Cutie when I pull up in the car line to drop him off at school in the morning. I can do that.


Anonymous said...

I wish my mother had had purple hair.

Anonymous said...

no you dont. there are more important things in life than being your kids "buddies". my mother was the only mother in our neighborhood who wore jeans. I wish she had focused less on being "hip" and more on how to teach me what I needed to get thru life and setting appropriate boundaries. that said, if what you like is what you like so be it. American Idol has been a tremendously bonding experience for my daughter and I. the bonding we missed by the magic titty we got by watching Kelly Clarkson win big. oh well.

katie allison granju said...

I think you misunderstand. I am not trying to be hip; I'm apparently just not very good at coloring my hair.


mamalife said...

Oh, you have just got to post a picture of your fabulously purple hair for us all to see!

Anonymous said...

actually I was talking to the first commenter in here...the one wishing her mother had purple hair.sorry if it wasnt really clear. I do think that parents trying to deliberately be "hip" and be their kids "buddies" instead of their parents backfires in the longterm..for those who might be thinking such. I often tell my kids that yes, I can be their friend but I cannot and will not be their peer. I say this as someone who happens to like alot of the same music my kids like, not because I am trying to be "cool" but because I like it. of course I also drive them nuts with country and jazz them something to complain about "adult" stuff and have some territory of their own. but I am real careful to remember I am 45 and not try and act like a kid again.

Anonymous said...

Henry's main concern seemed to be that I should turn down Death Cab for Cutie when I pull up in the car line to drop him off at school in the morning.

Zan used to be totally obsessed with the Drive-By Truckers. One morning when I was dropping him off at school, all the kids were out on the playground, so he wanted me to drive ONTO the playground, with all the windows rolled down, and with Southern Rock Opera turned up real loud so everyone could hear it.

all apparently know how to cook

If you want to learn how to cook, just start out with simple stuff, and don't worry about screwing up. Spaghetti sauce is real easy to make from scratch, and it doesn't take much time, either.

* 4 or 5 or 6 big tomatoes -- try and get ones grown in someone's garden, or really good heirloom ones at the farmers market if you find them. Good, ripe Grainger Co. ones will work too, though. Whatever, the better the tomato, the better the sauce.
* 4 or 5 or 6 cloves of garlic -- good garlic will improve the flavor a lot, too. The stuff at the store is usually pretty bland, so try and find someone who has some sort of oddball garlic at the farmers market. But regular old garlic works fine, though. Just don't use that stuff in a jar.
* a pound or so of really lean ground beef -- 10% or less fat.
* salt
* a medium to big onion
* olive oil

Chop the tomatoes pretty finely, and put them into a big bowl for later. Chop the onion and mince the garlic.

Put a couple tablespoons of oil into a pan, and fry up the onions on medium to medium low heat until they're sort of soft and yellowish. Don't cook them on too high a heat or they'll burn.

When the onions are done, put in the minced garlic and cook for another couple of minutes, but be careful, because garlic burns pretty easily. Put in the ground beef and a big pinch of salt, and fry until it's done. Taste it and add more salt if neccessary, then add the tomatoes, and simmer it on medium - low heat until it's turned into a sauce (20-30 minutes or so).

Anonymous said...

That was me, obviously.

Steve K.

Chris Nystrom said...

We need more women who have purple hair and say "fuck".