Some weeks, I feel like I am doing a pretty good job living alone, managing working full time, raising three children, runnning a household (that includes three dogs, a pony, a cat and two rats), getting freelance projects out the door, etc, etc
Other weeks I do not.
This is one of those weeks.
This is my first week producing a TV show I've been assigned, I have a sick 8th grader, there is a parent conference this afternoon with 5th grader's teacher, I have a script to turn in for a sweeps week special I am producing, and we have the usual soccer practice, riding lessons, etc to keep up with. I haven't had a chance to clean my house in three weeks and it looks like a bomb fell on it. My gutters need cleaning, my oil needs to be changed before I go out of town Friday and I need to start thinking about Christmas shopping. Before that, I need to get Halloween costumes figured out.
I need an assistant. A personal assistant. A housewife-type of assistant.
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I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
About Me
Blogs I Like to Read
- Amy's Very Cool Homeschooling Family
- Ann Douglas
- Blogging Baby
- David Rhoden
- Domestic Psychology
- First Impressionist
- Jonathan Hickman
- Lemuria Books
- Mamas Ink
- Marrit Ingman
- Martini Made
- Meagan Francis
- Mo's Journal
- Remembering Ward
- Suburban Turmoil
- The Vol Abroad
- This Woman's Work
- Women's Health News
- Zygote Daddy
Good Stuff on Being a Parent/Family Life
Books I"ve written/contributed to
Blog Archive
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2005
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October
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- Deep thoughts from Kenny Chesney on the end of his...
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- henrybday3 Originally uploaded by kgranju.
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- katehate
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- My friend Dawn on two kinds of men you should avoi...
- redneck culture
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13 comments:
Yes! Indeed! I've often thought I could seriously use a 1950s-era housewife-style assistant.
Then again, perhaps I'd prefer a hot dude who is both at his sexual peak and at my beck and call.
I want a houseboy. A very cute houseboy.
Yeah, yeah, mostly I just think I'd like a wife. :-) I've really enjoyed times when my mother-in-law (yes, I get along with her better than my own mother) is over for awhile, or we're at her house for awhile, which means I get breaks from doing everything. I can seriously see the benefit of how families used to live--with extended family. Then the mom doesn't get too overwhelmed--she has someone to help her.
I can't even imagine what it's like to do it all by yourself and not have a partner to help.
uh yeah, Katie, thats why God made it so you have to have two to become parents. DUH. but unfortunately all the feminazis told men they were unneeded and unwanted except for their sperm and now look what we have to deal with
Maybe you can find a likeminded friend and share chores, rides, shopping, etc.
In my neighbourhood we ocasionally look after each others children, pick them from school, take them to swimming lessons, do the shopping for each other...
I want a pool boy (and I don't have a pool!) LOL!!
Let's see...is there something that is intended to help mothers in their tasks of raising children, managing a household, and providing income for the family? Yes! A Father/Husband! I know, I know, divorce wasn't your plan or idea; but have you seriously thought about looking for a help-mate instead of a boy-toy? You run on and on about not liking pleated pants, pointed shoes etc, but do you look at the inside as well? My husband is not the kind of man I thought I would end up with. But he is exactly the kind of man I need! I think it is time for you to move past your divorce pain, let go of your bitterness and start looking for a partner. Try looking somewhere other than bars with "great bands" and market square outings. And finally, sometimes I too wish I had June Cleaver living at my house. It is a natural normal emotion for mothers. Pour yourself a glass of wine, light some candles, run a bubble bath and read a completely guilty pleasure book or magazine! Have you looked at the "guy next door?" He might be more than a friend.
I'm not getting looking to get married just to have help around the house. I can hire a repair guy and not have to deal with his dirty laundry. In fact, I'm not looking to get married at all any time in the forseeable future.
And even the married mothers I know - those with three kids and a full time job anyway -- sometimes feel overwhelmed. Often, part of their sense of being overwhelmed has something to do with the other adult living with them.
The fact that I like to hear/write about music in my free time is no reflection on the character of men I might or might not date. The last man you could say I "dated" was an ACTUARY, for goodness sake. The one before that was a university professor with a PhD from Stanford.
My children have a father. I'm not looking for a new one for them. And I'd rather have my own house, a good job, my own income, a housekeeper, and get to do the stuff I enjoy doing when I am not busy mothering -- like go see live music (so sue me) -- than glom onto some guy just so he'll maybe help take care of me.
I am very happy for everyone who has a good marriage. More power to you. It didn't work out for me, although we certainly had our share of happy times. But being married is not the be-all, end-all of my existence. I got married when I was 22 years old and stayed married until my mid-thirties. I'm rather enjoying getting to know myself sans husband.
And as I said, my children HAVE a father.
Yes, I am feeling cranky at the moment.
ouch!!! You are cranky!!!Take heart; I wasn't suggesting you get married only to have help around the house! And yes your children have a father, from what you write a good one. But I was talking about Kate; not her children. It sounds like you are not through being bitter either (about marriage)but I will say this anyway...Marriage is about friendship, love, partnership and yes the sexual fun also. What I'm saying is that having a spouse to support you, to love you when you are feeling down, to rub your stinky feet at the end of a long day is a good thing. He doesn't have to be another child! Please don't marry someone who needs a parent instead of a life-partner. Listening to music is fine. Going to clubs to hear bands is fine. But I think you have to admit that it is not always the best place to find who you are looking for. Also, I will stand by my statement that you should look deeper than the pleated pants (no pun intended!) And oh my goodness! an actuary????? I see you with a record producer or professional mountain biker. Or (gasp) have you taken a good look at a cowboy lately? Those wranglers are looking pretty good! But I digress! Enjoy getting to know yourself again; Don't rule out the possibility that what you need may be an long-term committment.
I apologize for sounding so grumpy. And yes, I'd love to have someone to rub my feet (mmmmmm....rub my feet and I am YOURS) and help me with logistical stuff sometimes.
I am not bitter about my divorce. But I am sad about it and always will be. And yes, I am definitely quite cynical about marriage after what I have been through. I just don't see that many really good marriages.
I am sort of dating someone now...I like him a lot. A whole lot, although there are some complications on his end that have me a bit wary. But he's genuinely nice and thoughtful. And he also plays guitar in a band. I'll admit it; I'm a sucker for a cute guitarist ;-)
But at this point, my love life, such as it is, is pretty much completely divorced from my family/mothering/home life. So there is no "helpmate" dynamic going on there. I am responsible for taking care of all my stuff and the children's stuff all by myself.
And I do like cowboys! A man in chaps can be a nice.
-wink, wink
katie
Well, YEEHAW!Cowgirl!!You have a right to be cynical about marraige; and you are also right that alot of married people are serious about the ball and chain thing. But eventually (maybe) that cynicism (spell?) will soften even if you still choose not to be married. There are some very happily married people out there. Problem is they don't go around bragging about how great the wild monkey sex was last night, or how wonderful it was that the other spouse cleaned house because the other was too busy or tired. You see, many times all anyone hears are the complaints...irritating habits etc. It's much more fun to complain that to compliment our mates. I wonder why? Are we afraid someone will steal them? Are we ashamed of our happiness? What are your thoughts on this? Good luck with the person you are dating; be patient with his current situation or hang-ups. Even if you don't want to get married it is so fut to have a boyfriend. And...you can buy him some chaps!
I will never wear chaps. Or a cowboy hat.
Well anonymous...that's one guy (maybe?) that Katie won't have to bother with. Besides, we weren't really talking about wearing out in public...if you get my drift. Also, people who vow never to do something are usually the ones who are either A. boring or B. eventually doing what they swore never to do.
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