Check out this very encouraging essay Kate Kendell has written about the legal strides gay parents have made toward full recognition under the law.
I think the legal changes are important, but it's the more nuanced, organic changes that will make things truly better/different for gay families a generation from now.
Example: last weekend I took my middle school son and two of his classmates to pick up a fourth classmate, a girl, for a concert. The fourth classmate is a different-race (from her mothers) adopted child of lesbian moms.
To the three boys who were with me - my son and his friends -- this is no biggie. That's just who this family is, and just who their classmate is. They like her two moms very much. And this is in uber-conservative Knoxville, TN. Plus, the other two boys who were with us come from very Republican, right-wing sorts of families. Their parents may have a problem with a gay family, but their children don't.
Politics and legal recognition haven't created these kids' acceptance of this as just one more kind of family; knowing this family personally has created that acceptance.
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I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
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7 comments:
I dont see this as progressive. I am sure you would find me a small minded bigot if I stated my full opinion.
one thing in here that I found disturbing has nothing to do with homosexuality and that is reissuing a new "birth" certificate for adoptees. this actually is one of the biggest issues with anti adoption people is that adopters are not, never can be, never will be the "real" parents. I am not sure that I see it exactly the way anti adoption extremists do however to deny the birth parents even to the point of issuing a new "birth" certificate just seems wrong to me. it seems like it is perpetuating something that really is not the truth. now I do not have a problem with adoption per se, I realize there are a lot of cases where the bio mom doesnt want the child and a number of them where she really shouldnt keep the child even if she wanted to. but lets not reinforce the idea that these girls are churning out a "product" for those who are unable to produce biological children. and fake birth certificates sure do reinforce that notion. once upon a time adoption was truly something undertaken because a child was in need and a stable family felt they could provide. it was not a means to meet the needs of erstwhile parents for children. now it has flip flopped and adoption really appears to be less about meeting the needs of a child who would otherwise be homeless and more about the percieved "right" of everyone and anyone to obtain a child. hence there era in the fifties of lying to kids about their adoptions. I am really rather shocked to see that in this day and age things like producing fake birth certificates still exists. I think that the denial that adoption DOES produce its own issues fuels a lot of the animostiy going on with people holding extreme anti adoption views. again, that is because adoption has become less about the childs need for a loving home and more about the parents need to fill that home with children. if it is truly about the child you will not deny that the adoptee is an adoptee and may have some issues about that. if it is about the parents you will do whatever you can to try and mimic what it is you think "real" parents have. even producing a ridiculous "birth certificate" that is minus the names of the people who produced said child. once you have concieved that baby out of wedlock, none of the solutions are going to be without their own issues.
perhaps the fact that gays and lesbians are so eager to fill in the blanks on those birth certificates says more about them and thier dysfunction than they would ever care to admit directly.
Blah, blah, blah, blah. Another boring, small-minded, paranoid, holier-than-thou comment from anonymous. *yawn* Ho-hum.
you know what...I think that you are much nastier than you have accused me of being. however you agree with the person who writes this blog and her followers so no doubt it will be overlooked.
paranoid..eh..I dont see anything that could be contstrued as "paranoid" Dedennen or whatever your name is...methinks you have some issues.....all I did was state that I do not agree with the current politically correct view that gayness is inborn and to be celebrated and encouraged. and i made a statement that I do not think that falsifying official documents so that birth parents can feel that their "needs" are met while ignoring the real needs of an adopted child to be told the truth(while making sure that I made it abundantly clear that I do not fall into the radical anti adoption movement) is a terribly good idea. now if you have a problem with that that is not my problem. if you have a problem with people disagreeing with other people then you have some serious issues.
You, sweetie, are the one with issues if you have nothing better to do than troll blogs you disagree with and bash gay people. Ever heard of "Get a life"? Well, now you have, so why don't you try it.
Anonymous has a fairly good point about the issuance of altered birth certificats.
That sympathy or empathy for adoptees is somewhat negated by the use of the term "'real' parents" despite the quotes.
The correct terms are birth-parents (B-parents or BP) and adoptive parents (A-parents or AP).
K
adoptee
dedanaan..you are quite the piece of work. if disagreeing that homosexuality belongs right back in DSM makes me a gay basher, then so be it. I love gays dearly..enough to tell them the truth., and yes, I do know ex gays who have left the lifestyle quite successfully. sorry this brings out the nastiness and sarcasm in you deedenan. you are far nastier than you accuse me of being if someone objective were to read these posts.
as for the adoption comments. I apologize if I sounded insensitive. I did not mean to. I think there are people on both sides of the whole controversy who make valid points all the while missing some other equally valid points. the real person who deserves to be heard is the adoptee him/herself. otherwise its just a bunch of selfish territory protecting by adults looking out for their own interests in the name of the "whats best for the child". whichever way they are falling on this spectrum. I have seen both birth parents who are too wrapped up in the selfishness that led them to get pregnant in the first place to see that they cannot parent a child and I have also seen adoptive parents so eager to adopt that they manipulate single women who with just a bit of support would be excellent parents. people can be very very blind when they get in that tunnel vision state of mind.
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