Monday

8,000 pounds of crystals

From a promotional e-mail from a Downtown Knoxville business:


"We are opening an underground world dj and live entertainment venue called World Grotto (300 capacity, opening on October 27 this year).


We've inserted 8,000 lbs of crystals and semi-precious stones into World Grotto's Moroccan-styled cavern walls, fog-covered fountains and glowing geode bar; we are now hiring staff who think that dressing in world-culture costumes when working sounds fun—in addition to the usual bartenders and servers, our staff includes a tarot reader, magician, dancers, drummers, chiropractor and massage therapist! World Grotto's concept encompasses retail sales, gallery displays, and health practitioners in addition to its live entertainment nightclub.


We're looking for world music artists, entertainers, and DJs to book, as well as cds and vinyl to spin. "


<End e-mail>


A glowing geode bar? I don't want to be around that kind of thing SOBER, much less after I've had a drink or two. I think it would make me woozy  and disoriented.


And good luck finding "staff who think that dressing in world-culture costumes when working sounds fun..."


What is a "world-culture costume" anyway?


 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on not getting this concept. Remember the Think Tank? It was trying to be 3 or 4 things at once and failed. Now, we've got something that's going to attempt to be everything under the sun... great idea! It's like the new-age WalMart for night prowling hipsters- massage therapy in aisle 1, magic tricks in 2, magnet and crystal knee re-alingment in aisle 3 and so-on, all within a cavernous building gaudily sporting 8000 units of crystal bling. Yes! Just what I've been wanting for on my occassional nights off. All of this, not to mention bartenders in traditional, ethnic costumes which barely exist in their places of origin now, thanks to globalization. At least let 'em wear darted smocks like the Walmart employees to minimize the outrageous pretense of such a business venture.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the owners should consult with one of their would-be Tarot readers before embarking on a venture so obviously destined for failure. I forsee in their future the card of death. And the Fool.

But what do I know? There may be a handful of college kids that would consider this sort of thing entertaining for at least half a semester.