Tuesday

when parenting sucks

For me, the worst part of parenting is when your child is hurting and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Jane cried off and on all evening about Cookie being lost. Not hysterical, dramatic crying - not her style - but the quiet, deep sobs of real heartbreak. As she fell asleep, clutching the teddy bear I got her for Valentines Day, she had huge tears rolling out the corner of her eyes and I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest.

She got a Valentine card from my mother today with $10 in it and she immediately said, "If I put my $10 toward the reward for Cookie, will they maybe bring him back?"

This reminds me how awful it must be for mothers in Iraq to know they can't stop bombs from falling on their children. For mothers in Sudan who can't make the hunger pangs go away. For mothers in my own neighborhood who can't provide the new shoes or braces their children really need.

For me, it's just a lost dog. But seeing your child in pain over ANYTHING is the worst kind of suffering.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. I'm so sorry. Come home, Cookie.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of you, Jane and especially Cookie. I hope she's safe and sound and the homeless prophet's words come true for you.

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry for your daughter's loss, but the implied comparison to the losses of war is REALLY crass.

Anonymous said...

I meant to say "who's," or "who has." Sorry, Grammar Police.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with the previous poster's sentiment. I didn't get the sense that you were comparing Cookie being lost to a mother whose lost her son or daughter to war, I got the impression that you were speaking to the lack of control you have over the situation.

Julie said...

Perhaps I wasn't clear.

What I meant was, it's hard when mothers cannot protect their children from pain. Period.

From my perspective, it is never "crass" when one human being finds a way to connect with amd empathize with another human being's pain. There are many paths to doing that. This was one for me.

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry for Jane... I hope Cookie shows up soon.

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