Has anyone read this book, The Year of Saying Yes?
It's about a woman who decided she was tired of ending up with the same sort of man always, so decided to say yes to everyone who asked her out for an entire year, no matter how implausible they were (example: she went out with an actual MIME.)
I just don't think I could do this. I have been on some truly terrible dates in the past year and these were with guys who at least on the front end, appeared to have some potential. Some of them were so bad that I bolted halfway through the date (I know. That's terrible and rude)
And I have had some VERY strange people ask me out. No way would I have said yes. And some people I just haven't felt like there was any point in it for them or me. I could predict pretty surely that no fun was going to be had.
I do want to read the book, though.
Tuesday
www.ElectLumpy.com
Have you received your
invitation to County Commission candidate Greg "Lumpy" Lambert's
campaign reception? I have. I probably can't make it, though, which is a shame
because I would really like to have a shot at the knives and guns he's
giving away as doorprizes...
I love East Tennessee. I really, really do.
invitation to County Commission candidate Greg "Lumpy" Lambert's
campaign reception? I have. I probably can't make it, though, which is a shame
because I would really like to have a shot at the knives and guns he's
giving away as doorprizes...
I love East Tennessee. I really, really do.
Monday
nashville knucklehead
Crack Monkey has me checking in regularly with this blog lately. It's quite entertaining. I'd like to meet this guy.
tennessee guerilla women
I love the Tennessee Guerilla Women site/blog and would like to encourage you to check out the fine array of stuff to buy they have available...
single mama stuff
So I've met & am seeing someone I like a good deal. He's pretty great. It's been quite an unexpected surprise for any number of reasons, but there it is. It's sweet.
I've been very wary of introducing anyone to my children since I started dating (silly word) again and mostly, I haven't. My kids' father seems much more okay with having his girlfriends around the kids often and early (and that seems to work fine for all concerned. really. just seems not right for me). I did let one person meet the kids and spend a little bit of time with the four of us as a family, but I now think that was too early because my kids seemed a bit confused by where he went when things between us cooled.
I have another person I've seen a good bit over the past year who has literally NEVER met my children and doesn't seem inclined to. It just doesn't seem to be something that's ever going to be part of our relationship. Then a third person I saw for a bit last winter quickly morphed into a good, close, platonic friend whom I love having around the kids because it's not a romantic relationship at all. The kids like him, too.
But anyway, so here's this guy I am seeing and really, really like and it's hard to suss out when and how to have the whole "meet the children" thing happen. On the one hand, there's no hurry whatsoever. On the other hand, no one can actually get to know me in any real, meaningful way unless they know me as a mother (I mean, I am myself aside from being a mother, but that's a huge, huge part of who I am). And you can't have any idea what my life is actually like unless you spend time around me with my children and the four of us as a family. So if someone gets to know me over a period of months without ever seeing me with my children, they may not have a clear sense of the person they are dating and the whole thing could go terribly awry once that element was introduced into the relationship. It could be very jarring. Life with three children is very, very different from life as a single guy with no children.
Also, if you have three children and you never allow the person you are dating around them at all, it means you can essentially only see that person every other weekend, which isn't awfully conducive for getting to know someone or developing a relationship beyond the occasional movie or something.
It's not an easy thing to figure out. I'll let you know if I ever do :-)
I've been very wary of introducing anyone to my children since I started dating (silly word) again and mostly, I haven't. My kids' father seems much more okay with having his girlfriends around the kids often and early (and that seems to work fine for all concerned. really. just seems not right for me). I did let one person meet the kids and spend a little bit of time with the four of us as a family, but I now think that was too early because my kids seemed a bit confused by where he went when things between us cooled.
I have another person I've seen a good bit over the past year who has literally NEVER met my children and doesn't seem inclined to. It just doesn't seem to be something that's ever going to be part of our relationship. Then a third person I saw for a bit last winter quickly morphed into a good, close, platonic friend whom I love having around the kids because it's not a romantic relationship at all. The kids like him, too.
But anyway, so here's this guy I am seeing and really, really like and it's hard to suss out when and how to have the whole "meet the children" thing happen. On the one hand, there's no hurry whatsoever. On the other hand, no one can actually get to know me in any real, meaningful way unless they know me as a mother (I mean, I am myself aside from being a mother, but that's a huge, huge part of who I am). And you can't have any idea what my life is actually like unless you spend time around me with my children and the four of us as a family. So if someone gets to know me over a period of months without ever seeing me with my children, they may not have a clear sense of the person they are dating and the whole thing could go terribly awry once that element was introduced into the relationship. It could be very jarring. Life with three children is very, very different from life as a single guy with no children.
Also, if you have three children and you never allow the person you are dating around them at all, it means you can essentially only see that person every other weekend, which isn't awfully conducive for getting to know someone or developing a relationship beyond the occasional movie or something.
It's not an easy thing to figure out. I'll let you know if I ever do :-)
Sunday
breastfeeding in massachusetts
Recently, MA became the first state in the United States to legislatively enact a ban on hospitals handing out "free" formula samples to new mothers as they leave the hospital with their newborns. The reason? Because it's unethical for medical providers to act as sales reps for the pharmaceutical companies that make,market and sell infant formula. And that is what is happening when these gift bags of bottles and formula go home with new mothers.
Additionally, it's clear to anyone who works with new mothers that women who are given free infant formula are more likely to supplement breastfeeding with the artificial baby milk, as well as to give up entirely on breastfeeding within the first few weeks. When a doctor, nurse or hospital gives a new mother infant formula to take home, the message is "We know you SAY you plan to breastfeed, but really, we expect you to fail or at least supplement, so here's what we know you will need."
Even for mothers who leave the hospital knowing they do not choose to breastfeed, the brand of sample the hospital sends home with bottlefeeding mothers is a not so subtle endorsement of that particular brand.
Anyone who claims that the infant formula companies have no agends in giving away millions and millions of dollars in free product via hospital maternity wards each year is, well, beyond naive. Of course they have an agends. They don't do it just to be nice. They do it because they are well aware that free formula samples lessen the chance a new mother will start or continue breastfeeding. They know that supplementary bottles of formula in the first weeks of breastfeeding often throw the delicate supply-demand balance off just as women and their babies are trying to get the hang of nursing. They also know that many newborns cannot switch easily between breast and bottle nipple and will very quickly begin rejecting breast for bottle if given bottles in the first few weeks. Most of all they know that every woman who chooses to breastfeed rather than bottlefeed her baby represents a loss of at least $1,000 (that's a consrevative estimate) in sales of infant formula during that infant-consumer's first 12 months.
Let's say this very clearly: the companies that make, market and sell infant formula want people to buy their product. Of course they do. And breastfeeding women have no need for their product. Ergo, it is in their economic best interest to discourage women from breastfeeding any time and in every way they can. These hospital freebie giveaways are one of the most effective tools they have.
To take the argument a bit further, the pharma companies that sell infant formula ALSO make and sell the medicines that treat the myriad illnesses, major and minor, that non-breastfed babies and children are far more likely to develop.
Do the math.
I was very excited to hear about MA's freebie formula ban, but am angry and disppointed to see that a huge backlash has started against it, with editorials like this one claiming that ending the free formula takeaways means new mothers are being "coerced" into breastfeeding or "denied choice" in how to feed their babies.
This is a ridiculous argument as long as infant formula is still available on store shelves. Women can choose to feed their babies however they like, but it is not appropriate or ethical for the hospitals or doctors to act as sales reps for the companies selling a particular brand. If a woman wants infant formula, she can buy it, thus freely exercising her choice in both how she will feed her baby and what brand of artificial baby milk she will buy.
Here are a few articles I've written on this topic, if you are new to the subject and would like some background:
This one is an investigative piece I did on the huge influence the infant formula industry has on policy making in medical groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, and also on public health campaigns.
This article originally appeared in Salon.com and is a good overview on the unethical tactics of these formula companies and how the medical establishment is turning a blind eye. This one also offers a good round-up of the medical evidence that increasingly demonstrates that bottlefed babies in the United States have markedly higher levels of morbidity and mortality than breastfed children.
Here an excerpt from my book on the World Health Organization Code on the Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes, and how formula companies are flouting it all over the world, especially in the U.S.
Additionally, it's clear to anyone who works with new mothers that women who are given free infant formula are more likely to supplement breastfeeding with the artificial baby milk, as well as to give up entirely on breastfeeding within the first few weeks. When a doctor, nurse or hospital gives a new mother infant formula to take home, the message is "We know you SAY you plan to breastfeed, but really, we expect you to fail or at least supplement, so here's what we know you will need."
Even for mothers who leave the hospital knowing they do not choose to breastfeed, the brand of sample the hospital sends home with bottlefeeding mothers is a not so subtle endorsement of that particular brand.
Anyone who claims that the infant formula companies have no agends in giving away millions and millions of dollars in free product via hospital maternity wards each year is, well, beyond naive. Of course they have an agends. They don't do it just to be nice. They do it because they are well aware that free formula samples lessen the chance a new mother will start or continue breastfeeding. They know that supplementary bottles of formula in the first weeks of breastfeeding often throw the delicate supply-demand balance off just as women and their babies are trying to get the hang of nursing. They also know that many newborns cannot switch easily between breast and bottle nipple and will very quickly begin rejecting breast for bottle if given bottles in the first few weeks. Most of all they know that every woman who chooses to breastfeed rather than bottlefeed her baby represents a loss of at least $1,000 (that's a consrevative estimate) in sales of infant formula during that infant-consumer's first 12 months.
Let's say this very clearly: the companies that make, market and sell infant formula want people to buy their product. Of course they do. And breastfeeding women have no need for their product. Ergo, it is in their economic best interest to discourage women from breastfeeding any time and in every way they can. These hospital freebie giveaways are one of the most effective tools they have.
To take the argument a bit further, the pharma companies that sell infant formula ALSO make and sell the medicines that treat the myriad illnesses, major and minor, that non-breastfed babies and children are far more likely to develop.
Do the math.
I was very excited to hear about MA's freebie formula ban, but am angry and disppointed to see that a huge backlash has started against it, with editorials like this one claiming that ending the free formula takeaways means new mothers are being "coerced" into breastfeeding or "denied choice" in how to feed their babies.
This is a ridiculous argument as long as infant formula is still available on store shelves. Women can choose to feed their babies however they like, but it is not appropriate or ethical for the hospitals or doctors to act as sales reps for the companies selling a particular brand. If a woman wants infant formula, she can buy it, thus freely exercising her choice in both how she will feed her baby and what brand of artificial baby milk she will buy.
Here are a few articles I've written on this topic, if you are new to the subject and would like some background:
This one is an investigative piece I did on the huge influence the infant formula industry has on policy making in medical groups like the American Academy of Pediatrics, and also on public health campaigns.
This article originally appeared in Salon.com and is a good overview on the unethical tactics of these formula companies and how the medical establishment is turning a blind eye. This one also offers a good round-up of the medical evidence that increasingly demonstrates that bottlefed babies in the United States have markedly higher levels of morbidity and mortality than breastfed children.
Here an excerpt from my book on the World Health Organization Code on the Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes, and how formula companies are flouting it all over the world, especially in the U.S.
Saturday
I have a new housekeeper person and think I may be in love with her.
I am domestically challenged and NEED someone to help me keep my house in order. I've had someone to help with this off and on over the years and I'm always much happier overall when someone is on. It's hard to find someone good, though.
I lucked into this genius person via Stewart Pack (see below). SHe's his sister in law. She already has my little house looking and feeling 100 times better. She even does things like organize the closets for me and buy me the cleaning supplies she thinks I need.
I am domestically challenged and NEED someone to help me keep my house in order. I've had someone to help with this off and on over the years and I'm always much happier overall when someone is on. It's hard to find someone good, though.
I lucked into this genius person via Stewart Pack (see below). SHe's his sister in law. She already has my little house looking and feeling 100 times better. She even does things like organize the closets for me and buy me the cleaning supplies she thinks I need.
We didn't stay for all of John Davis last night but the Stewart Pack show was just great. They and The High Score are, I think, my favorite local bands to see live. I love SP's fuzzy guitar tone.
It was very cute because SP's wife Kimberly brought their three little children to see their father play and there were these three towheaded little kids up at the stage, staring up at their rockstar dad in rapt awe.
It was very cute because SP's wife Kimberly brought their three little children to see their father play and there were these three towheaded little kids up at the stage, staring up at their rockstar dad in rapt awe.
Friday
t'night
I can't wait to see this show tonight. I need to get a nap first, though. I am exhausted. Work has been eating me alive this week.
And here's my little interview I did with Stewart that ran today.
Stewart and John D. (former SUperdrag guitarist) are two of my favorite folk sto see play live. Big fun.
And here's my little interview I did with Stewart that ran today.
Stewart and John D. (former SUperdrag guitarist) are two of my favorite folk sto see play live. Big fun.
Thursday
Wednesday
embracing psychic pain
This is a very interesting new article on the so called "third wave" of psychology in which sufferers are told to embrace their suffering rather than try to escape it or make it go away.
Great concept, but not new; the Buddhists have been telling us this for several thousand years. Pema Chodron wrote a great book called When Things Fall Apart" in hich she describes how "leaning into" our hurt softens it and eventually makes it pliable and something we can work with.
Childbirth educators have long known that teaching women to "go into" painful contractions works better than trying to get them to be distracted away from the pain.
In my own life, I've found the hard way that the only way through, is through. No going around or over or under. The crucible of leaning into the bad stuff is a central tenet of human existence. It makes us better, sometimes.
I understand that serious, organic mental illness cannot respond entirely to this approach, but basic suffering can be alleviated with it.
My 2 cents.
Great concept, but not new; the Buddhists have been telling us this for several thousand years. Pema Chodron wrote a great book called When Things Fall Apart" in hich she describes how "leaning into" our hurt softens it and eventually makes it pliable and something we can work with.
Childbirth educators have long known that teaching women to "go into" painful contractions works better than trying to get them to be distracted away from the pain.
In my own life, I've found the hard way that the only way through, is through. No going around or over or under. The crucible of leaning into the bad stuff is a central tenet of human existence. It makes us better, sometimes.
I understand that serious, organic mental illness cannot respond entirely to this approach, but basic suffering can be alleviated with it.
My 2 cents.
Monday
frequency
I am beyond slammed with work at the moment, so blogging posts will be less frequent this week.
But of course, you can always read the blog I actually get PAID to write...
Carry on.
But of course, you can always read the blog I actually get PAID to write...
Carry on.
Sunday
playing
Napoleon Dynamite is now so ingrained in pop culture that my son Elliot and my three year old nephew Mac are running around the house "playing Liger." I'm not exactly sure what Ligers do, but the boys are.
I do know that Ligers are quieter and less rambunctious than the Jedi knights they were being a little while ago, which is good, since I am trying to both write and mother today and we are all stuck in the house because it's so cold out.
(Addendum: they are now "man eating tree frogs.")
I do know that Ligers are quieter and less rambunctious than the Jedi knights they were being a little while ago, which is good, since I am trying to both write and mother today and we are all stuck in the house because it's so cold out.
(Addendum: they are now "man eating tree frogs.")
jane
My 10 year old daughter got her own laptop for Christmas and has discovered iTunes. Her musical taste --think Hillary Duff -- is quite different from mine and her older brother's (of course, his can be quite different than mine as well. He likes both Jack Johnson and Sublime, neither of which do anything for me). But just a minute ago, she ran into the kitchen, where I am working on a scintillating freelance article on radiant flooring, to complain that the Boomtown Rats' song "I Don't Like Mondays" isn't available on iTunes.
This amuses me. I'm not sure how she knows that song. I guess I have it on some mix CD somewhere...
This amuses me. I'm not sure how she knows that song. I guess I have it on some mix CD somewhere...
tech hell
I am in tech hell. I cannot get my computer to do some things and I cannot get my new PDA, a Dell, to do anything. I've now been struggling with this for hours -- last night and this morning -- and I may soon throw the PDA out into the yard for the dog to play with.
Friday
elliot's story
New story my second grader's teacher sent me. He wrote it last week:
THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD
by Elliot
One day some people knocked on my door. They said a friend with a friend. I let them in. I knew that was a sign that they were slaves. I am a part of the Underground Railroad. I ran to the door and said, “Come in.” He ran in. I looked at him. He’d been shot. I could tell because a bullet fell out. He was crying and begging for food. I got food and a drink for him. I cleaned him up. He thanked me. He was scared to death. It was dark outside. He thought he would die. I said, “You won’t die,” and I put him somewhere safe. He went to bed. Then I went to bed. In the morning I got up and said, “We have to go. Let’s get going. It’s time for freedom. So we need to go North now.” We got to the river. We found the boat and got on. We sailed across. He said, “Thank you,” and he ran off. One day later he was caught, but I bought him and set him free. He grew up and made speeches against slavery. He died in 1937 at the age of 98. His funeral was in 1937. I went to his funeral. I gave him a picture of me and him. I took in other slaves too.
THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD
by Elliot
One day some people knocked on my door. They said a friend with a friend. I let them in. I knew that was a sign that they were slaves. I am a part of the Underground Railroad. I ran to the door and said, “Come in.” He ran in. I looked at him. He’d been shot. I could tell because a bullet fell out. He was crying and begging for food. I got food and a drink for him. I cleaned him up. He thanked me. He was scared to death. It was dark outside. He thought he would die. I said, “You won’t die,” and I put him somewhere safe. He went to bed. Then I went to bed. In the morning I got up and said, “We have to go. Let’s get going. It’s time for freedom. So we need to go North now.” We got to the river. We found the boat and got on. We sailed across. He said, “Thank you,” and he ran off. One day later he was caught, but I bought him and set him free. He grew up and made speeches against slavery. He died in 1937 at the age of 98. His funeral was in 1937. I went to his funeral. I gave him a picture of me and him. I took in other slaves too.
Thursday
in audio
You can now hear an audio clip of me discussing my thoughts on KENNY CHESNEY, as well as homophobia, on a recent radio show. It's somewhat entertaining.
Wednesday
the flowers
So who left me the roses on my porch? Dr. Neighbor, is that you? I am thinking yes.
Thanks :-)
Thanks :-)
Tuesday
when parenting sucks
For me, the worst part of parenting is when your child is hurting and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
Jane cried off and on all evening about Cookie being lost. Not hysterical, dramatic crying - not her style - but the quiet, deep sobs of real heartbreak. As she fell asleep, clutching the teddy bear I got her for Valentines Day, she had huge tears rolling out the corner of her eyes and I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest.
She got a Valentine card from my mother today with $10 in it and she immediately said, "If I put my $10 toward the reward for Cookie, will they maybe bring him back?"
This reminds me how awful it must be for mothers in Iraq to know they can't stop bombs from falling on their children. For mothers in Sudan who can't make the hunger pangs go away. For mothers in my own neighborhood who can't provide the new shoes or braces their children really need.
For me, it's just a lost dog. But seeing your child in pain over ANYTHING is the worst kind of suffering.
Jane cried off and on all evening about Cookie being lost. Not hysterical, dramatic crying - not her style - but the quiet, deep sobs of real heartbreak. As she fell asleep, clutching the teddy bear I got her for Valentines Day, she had huge tears rolling out the corner of her eyes and I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest.
She got a Valentine card from my mother today with $10 in it and she immediately said, "If I put my $10 toward the reward for Cookie, will they maybe bring him back?"
This reminds me how awful it must be for mothers in Iraq to know they can't stop bombs from falling on their children. For mothers in Sudan who can't make the hunger pangs go away. For mothers in my own neighborhood who can't provide the new shoes or braces their children really need.
For me, it's just a lost dog. But seeing your child in pain over ANYTHING is the worst kind of suffering.
my fortune
Tonight as I left my office, I ran into the Fellini Kroger to grab stuff for supper. On my way out, I ran into this homeless-ish woman who is out front a lot and to whom I frequently give money. Her name is Sarah. Tonight I asked her how she was and she said she wanted to read my palm, which she has done once before, last summer. I told her I was in a big rush to get my children, whom I hadn't seen in days, but she insisted, so I grudgingly handed over my hand and she told me these things:
-That I will fall in love with THE love of my life in the next eight months (seems a random number)
-That I will find something I've lost
- That I will make up very soon with someone from whom I am separated
Interesting.
-That I will fall in love with THE love of my life in the next eight months (seems a random number)
-That I will find something I've lost
- That I will make up very soon with someone from whom I am separated
Interesting.
Monday
With Valentines Day approaching, I find myself thinking about this rather pronounced and non-good character flaw I seem to have in which I reject men who are "too nice." I tend to like a healthy serving of major snark with my romance.
I think I am going to try something different. Maybe really, really nice is a good thing after all.
I think I am going to try something different. Maybe really, really nice is a good thing after all.
awfulness
My daughter's beloved dog, Cookie the dachshund, has been missing since Friday afternoon. I've covered the neighborhood with flyers and plan to go out later and put flyers in every mailbox in a 6 block radius.
Jane is with her father this weekend, so she doesn't know yet. She ADORES her dog. I can't tell you how upset she is going to be and how much I dread telling her this when she comes home tomorrow. It's going to be awful. She's going to be hysterical with grief. She sleeps with Cookie every night, strolls Cookie around in her doll stroller, dresses Cookie in ridiculous outfits and frequently proclaims her utter devotion to Cookie. She picked him out of the litter when he was only 2 weeks old and then patiently waited for him to be ready to come home.
I am praying for a miracle and hoping Cookie will turn up tomorrow.
This is the worst :-(
Jane is with her father this weekend, so she doesn't know yet. She ADORES her dog. I can't tell you how upset she is going to be and how much I dread telling her this when she comes home tomorrow. It's going to be awful. She's going to be hysterical with grief. She sleeps with Cookie every night, strolls Cookie around in her doll stroller, dresses Cookie in ridiculous outfits and frequently proclaims her utter devotion to Cookie. She picked him out of the litter when he was only 2 weeks old and then patiently waited for him to be ready to come home.
I am praying for a miracle and hoping Cookie will turn up tomorrow.
This is the worst :-(
Sunday
Friday
t'night
This is me with my friends Rob & Derek. They host a popular weekly radio show 'round these parts and tonight they invited me to be a guest host. It's on from 8-10 pm EST and you can listen live from their website. You can even call in requests...
bring on the S*N*O*W !!
I am so psyched that it looks like we will finally
be getting some real snow in the greater K-town area.
I want to sled, ski, make snow angels, throw snowballs, drink hot chocolate & snowboard all weekend.
be getting some real snow in the greater K-town area.
I want to sled, ski, make snow angels, throw snowballs, drink hot chocolate & snowboard all weekend.
Thursday
mac
From my sister, about my nephew, McLean:
Mac and I were listening to NPR. They said something about the White House. Mac said "the White House is where the president lives." I was sooo proud of my genius 3 year old so I said to him "and who is our president?" He said" hmmmm- Dave Matthews Band?"
Mac and I were listening to NPR. They said something about the White House. Mac said "the White House is where the president lives." I was sooo proud of my genius 3 year old so I said to him "and who is our president?" He said" hmmmm- Dave Matthews Band?"
amusing
Pink (the pop star) amuses me. I even liked that record she put out with that hit song on it. You know? The one with the hit?
Anyway, somebody asked her if now that she's a newlywed, she plans tohave a baby and her reply was:
"“[Bleep] no. I’m not gonna do a Britney and pop out some kids. I’m not a Happy Meal. My husband’s got the burger, but he’s not getting the fries and shake to go with it.”
Huh?
Anyway, somebody asked her if now that she's a newlywed, she plans tohave a baby and her reply was:
"“[Bleep] no. I’m not gonna do a Britney and pop out some kids. I’m not a Happy Meal. My husband’s got the burger, but he’s not getting the fries and shake to go with it.”
Huh?
bizarro
"Occasionally, a child just refuses to stay in bed, and every night there's a battle-royal. Although it sounds cruel, the best solution for this lies in tying, in 6 to 8 places, a tennis or badminton net over the top of his crib. This is a very effective method of keeping a child in his bed....Leave the bedroom door open, so your child doesn't feel totally imprisoned." - Better Homes and Gardens Baby Book (1970)
You can read more freaky-ass baby-sleep advice collected by my friend Ann Douglas in researching her newest book (on sleep).
You can read more freaky-ass baby-sleep advice collected by my friend Ann Douglas in researching her newest book (on sleep).
Wednesday
politics
If you've been reading my blog since I started it (which is almost five years now. You can read its previous incarnation at www.locoparentis.blogspot.com ) you have likely noticed that I rarely write about politics anymore, although I used to do it daily.
There's a reason for this and it's called my job (as a TV/online news producer). I used to be strictly freelance, so nobody cared what I thought. Now, however, I have to be conscious of the fact that I will likely be accused of having an agenda in my work if I appear to have an agenda off the job. Being a journalist with a staff job sort of sucks that way. You get these people who are wildly interested in politics (or else they wouldn't have gone into news coverage) who are barred from expressing many opinions about it.
As those who know me can attest, I do have opinions. Lots of them. I just have to be more circumspect in how I express them than I used to be. And my opinions DO NOT influence the way I cover the news. There's no agenda.
But anyway, that's why my blog has moved away from those sorts of topics in the past 18 months.... and why I stick to safer territory, like Britney's no-carseat snafu (what WAS that girl thinking??!!!)
There's a reason for this and it's called my job (as a TV/online news producer). I used to be strictly freelance, so nobody cared what I thought. Now, however, I have to be conscious of the fact that I will likely be accused of having an agenda in my work if I appear to have an agenda off the job. Being a journalist with a staff job sort of sucks that way. You get these people who are wildly interested in politics (or else they wouldn't have gone into news coverage) who are barred from expressing many opinions about it.
As those who know me can attest, I do have opinions. Lots of them. I just have to be more circumspect in how I express them than I used to be. And my opinions DO NOT influence the way I cover the news. There's no agenda.
But anyway, that's why my blog has moved away from those sorts of topics in the past 18 months.... and why I stick to safer territory, like Britney's no-carseat snafu (what WAS that girl thinking??!!!)
middle school philosophy
My 8th grader, like many (most?) eighth graders, has a MySpace page. Unlike a lot of parents I know, I think it's a fine idea. For one thing, he knows I read it and I like reading it because it gives me an idea what he and his pals are talking/thinking about.
I looked at it today and his newest blog entry struck me as rather fun...for a middle schooler:
Though I am definitely not the first person to comment on this, I just want to voice my opinion on the issue of religion.
Humans learn through experience, they can not imagine something that they have never experienced for the most part. Therefore, as it does in our lives, everything must have a beginning and an end. There can be no infinity, we can not even begin to comprehend the concept of infinity. People must have some belief that reassures them that there was a beginning and there will be an end. Do you honestly beleive that the universe (outer space) just ends somewhere? I don't think any logical person does. So why should there just be an end to how small it gets. The reverse order of the ladder? Everything must be made of something, so matter in this infinite universe is ultimately, infinite. This would say that there was no beginning, because there has always been matter, and even if the world was to come to a sudden halt today, there would still be matter. Because to understand this theory, you have to think, the easier thing to do is just say, "God created the universe." Also according to my theory, this debunks the age old argument, "Well who started this infinite universe?" The answer is simply that, the universe has always been and will always be, though it may change, it will never vanish. Therefore, we are all one being. Many manifestations, but all one. There is no "Me" or "You" truthfully, there is only the universe, and maybe even the dimension. So is there a higher power? Yes, the universe and its infinity.
I also like it that he lists his heroes as Nelson Mandela, Abbie Hoffman and...Jello Biafra.
As you might imagine, this is a child who can and DOES argue his head off with me about just about anything and everything. It can be exhausting.
I looked at it today and his newest blog entry struck me as rather fun...for a middle schooler:
Though I am definitely not the first person to comment on this, I just want to voice my opinion on the issue of religion.
Humans learn through experience, they can not imagine something that they have never experienced for the most part. Therefore, as it does in our lives, everything must have a beginning and an end. There can be no infinity, we can not even begin to comprehend the concept of infinity. People must have some belief that reassures them that there was a beginning and there will be an end. Do you honestly beleive that the universe (outer space) just ends somewhere? I don't think any logical person does. So why should there just be an end to how small it gets. The reverse order of the ladder? Everything must be made of something, so matter in this infinite universe is ultimately, infinite. This would say that there was no beginning, because there has always been matter, and even if the world was to come to a sudden halt today, there would still be matter. Because to understand this theory, you have to think, the easier thing to do is just say, "God created the universe." Also according to my theory, this debunks the age old argument, "Well who started this infinite universe?" The answer is simply that, the universe has always been and will always be, though it may change, it will never vanish. Therefore, we are all one being. Many manifestations, but all one. There is no "Me" or "You" truthfully, there is only the universe, and maybe even the dimension. So is there a higher power? Yes, the universe and its infinity.
I also like it that he lists his heroes as Nelson Mandela, Abbie Hoffman and...Jello Biafra.
As you might imagine, this is a child who can and DOES argue his head off with me about just about anything and everything. It can be exhausting.
breastfeeding matters
Another new study demonstrates that not only is breastfeeding the gold standard for feeding your baby/toddler, it is dose dependent. The longer you breastfeed, the lower your child's risk for respiratory illnesses.
Tuesday
untrue
Brittany Murphy says she and her fiance went on 17 dates before they ever even kissed.
Straight up, I don't believe her.
Et tu?
Straight up, I don't believe her.
Et tu?
poor britney
I think I'm going to have a fundraiser of some kind to help her afford a CARSEAT for her baby.
Sheesh.
Sheesh.
i hate grades
Some folks who have been reading my writing for a while may have already heard my thoughts on homework.. In a nutshell, I don't believe in it.
Let me also say that I hate letter/numerical grades.
My oldest child is not what you would call a motivated student. It's gotten much worse in the past two years and now he is barely scraping by in eighth grade.
It doesn't help that he dislikes his school and doesn't like most of his teachers, despite the fact that he is, in general, a pretty amiable person who likes and gets along with many adults. He feels that his teachers don't like or respect him and so he reciprocates (there are a few exceptions - teachers whom he likes). He's very bored at school and is absolutely not motivated by any competition or ranking (as in grades) system. Never has been.
He is motivated when people challenge him and get him thinking. But the only system his teachers seem to understand for working with students is the traditinal "work to earn grades" model. But this kid is an autodidact. And they have no idea how to use that to get him engaged. It's very frustrating. I am frustrated with him and with them and am very glad that he only has a few months left at his school because he is definitely ready for a big change (he's been there 8 years).
I hate it that grades are the central organizing factor of his daily life and by extension, mine. I wish I could send him to The Sudbury School or something because that's where he would really thrive.
Let me also say that I hate letter/numerical grades.
My oldest child is not what you would call a motivated student. It's gotten much worse in the past two years and now he is barely scraping by in eighth grade.
It doesn't help that he dislikes his school and doesn't like most of his teachers, despite the fact that he is, in general, a pretty amiable person who likes and gets along with many adults. He feels that his teachers don't like or respect him and so he reciprocates (there are a few exceptions - teachers whom he likes). He's very bored at school and is absolutely not motivated by any competition or ranking (as in grades) system. Never has been.
He is motivated when people challenge him and get him thinking. But the only system his teachers seem to understand for working with students is the traditinal "work to earn grades" model. But this kid is an autodidact. And they have no idea how to use that to get him engaged. It's very frustrating. I am frustrated with him and with them and am very glad that he only has a few months left at his school because he is definitely ready for a big change (he's been there 8 years).
I hate it that grades are the central organizing factor of his daily life and by extension, mine. I wish I could send him to The Sudbury School or something because that's where he would really thrive.
Monday
I am really, really, really SUPER behind on responding to e-mail, so if you have e-mailed me about something and haven't heard back, do not despair. I promise to get thru my inbox between Weds and Monday of this coming week when I will be kidfree.
Yours,
Kate
Yours,
Kate
ageism
So the other night I went out with someone for the first time, and it was really quite fun. But I think we were both a bit surprised to learn that there is a rather significant age difference between the two of us (I'm older).
So I've been pondering whether that matters anymore and if so, why and if not, why....
But it was fun. Definitely the most entertaining time I've had hanging out with a guy since my relationship crashed and burned over the holidays...
So I've been pondering whether that matters anymore and if so, why and if not, why....
But it was fun. Definitely the most entertaining time I've had hanging out with a guy since my relationship crashed and burned over the holidays...
need tech buying advice
I'm gonna buy a new PDA to replace my ancient Palm. I want one that runs on a windows platform and is wi-fi capable and that is easy to use as an MP3 player. I'd love one with a keyboard thingy built in but that isn't a must. A camera on it would be extra awesome.
I don't want that Treo phone thing, so that's out.
Anybody have a suggestion?
I don't want that Treo phone thing, so that's out.
Anybody have a suggestion?
melungeonmania!
I am totally fascinated by the mysteries of Melungeons, so I am psyched about this event:
What: Exhibition and Lecture on Melungeons: “Windows of the Past: Cultural Heritage of Vardy, Hancock County, TN”
When: Exhibition runs Feb 13 – March 26; Panel discussion on March 12 at 2:00
Who: Presented by the East Tennessee Historical Society, DruAnna Overbay Curator
Where: East Tennessee History Center, 601 S. Gay Street
How: Open to the public, free of charge. Parking is available at the State Street Garage. For more information, please call 215-8824
(Knoxville, TN) The Melungeons, as they are known, have intrigued anthropologists, genealogists and scholars of every sort with their “mysterious” origins. As a people of distinct features and coloring, theories of these very early settlers abound. While their true origins may be hard to determine, the legacy of the Melungeons continues today. Due to the rugged nature of the land and the limited economic opportunities available, Melungeons maintained an isolated lifestyle that preserved their heritage. In 1899, the Northern Presbyterians established a mission and church in Newman's Ridge that became the source of community pride and provided education until the 1970s.
The East Tennessee Historical Society is pleased to present “Windows on the Past: The Cultural Heritage of Vardy, Hancock County, TN.” The exhibition features photographs illustrating Melungeon daily life in rural Hancock County for several decades in the early to mid-1900s. DruAnna Overbay, curator for the exhibit, is a direct descendant of Vardemon Collins, the early settler for whom Vardy is named and the recognized patriarch of the Newman’s Ridge Melungeons. She is author of a book based on the Vardy photographs, which includes her remembrances of growing up in this distinctive mountain community.
The exhibit will be held at the East Tennessee History Center, 601 S. Gay Street (across from the Tennessee Theatre) from February 13 – March 26. Hours of the exhibit are Monday-Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5.
A lecture and panel discussion will be led by author and curator DruAnna Overbay on Sunday, March 12 at 2:00 p.m. at the ETHC. In addition to Ms. Overbay, the panel will include other former students at the Vardy-School: Margaret Nevels, R.C. Mullins, Charles Sizemore, W.C. Collins, and Dan Williams.
For more information on this program, please call the East Tennessee Historical Society at 215-8824
What: Exhibition and Lecture on Melungeons: “Windows of the Past: Cultural Heritage of Vardy, Hancock County, TN”
When: Exhibition runs Feb 13 – March 26; Panel discussion on March 12 at 2:00
Who: Presented by the East Tennessee Historical Society, DruAnna Overbay Curator
Where: East Tennessee History Center, 601 S. Gay Street
How: Open to the public, free of charge. Parking is available at the State Street Garage. For more information, please call 215-8824
(Knoxville, TN) The Melungeons, as they are known, have intrigued anthropologists, genealogists and scholars of every sort with their “mysterious” origins. As a people of distinct features and coloring, theories of these very early settlers abound. While their true origins may be hard to determine, the legacy of the Melungeons continues today. Due to the rugged nature of the land and the limited economic opportunities available, Melungeons maintained an isolated lifestyle that preserved their heritage. In 1899, the Northern Presbyterians established a mission and church in Newman's Ridge that became the source of community pride and provided education until the 1970s.
The East Tennessee Historical Society is pleased to present “Windows on the Past: The Cultural Heritage of Vardy, Hancock County, TN.” The exhibition features photographs illustrating Melungeon daily life in rural Hancock County for several decades in the early to mid-1900s. DruAnna Overbay, curator for the exhibit, is a direct descendant of Vardemon Collins, the early settler for whom Vardy is named and the recognized patriarch of the Newman’s Ridge Melungeons. She is author of a book based on the Vardy photographs, which includes her remembrances of growing up in this distinctive mountain community.
The exhibit will be held at the East Tennessee History Center, 601 S. Gay Street (across from the Tennessee Theatre) from February 13 – March 26. Hours of the exhibit are Monday-Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday 1-5.
A lecture and panel discussion will be led by author and curator DruAnna Overbay on Sunday, March 12 at 2:00 p.m. at the ETHC. In addition to Ms. Overbay, the panel will include other former students at the Vardy-School: Margaret Nevels, R.C. Mullins, Charles Sizemore, W.C. Collins, and Dan Williams.
For more information on this program, please call the East Tennessee Historical Society at 215-8824
worth repeating
I've published this quote from my friend, and fellow writer Jeannie Ouellette before, but I ran across it again last night and I like it so much I think I'll post it again. Jeannie and I are the same age and she also has 3 children and we both got married really young and both got divorced around the same time (she a year or two before I did).
My favorite part of her essay on getting divorced:
"Marriage changed me; motherhood changed me more. But divorce and its aftermath changed me the most. I no longer have the energy to be desperately deferential. I’m turning into everything I never was before. I merge fearlessly in traffic. I park in tight spots (and sometime miss). I say no. I talk about my problems. I sometimes hang up on telemarketers (though I still cringe to admit it). And now I love someone again, someone who seems to love me more than I can explain, and I’m getting married again—even though it’s hardly perfect, given our kids and our pasts and our complicated present. Now, however, I don’t give a damn about perfect. I have what I need, and mostly what I want. I’ve paid for it all, and with that I can do well enough by everybody else, most of the time."
Yeah, what she said...
My favorite part of her essay on getting divorced:
"Marriage changed me; motherhood changed me more. But divorce and its aftermath changed me the most. I no longer have the energy to be desperately deferential. I’m turning into everything I never was before. I merge fearlessly in traffic. I park in tight spots (and sometime miss). I say no. I talk about my problems. I sometimes hang up on telemarketers (though I still cringe to admit it). And now I love someone again, someone who seems to love me more than I can explain, and I’m getting married again—even though it’s hardly perfect, given our kids and our pasts and our complicated present. Now, however, I don’t give a damn about perfect. I have what I need, and mostly what I want. I’ve paid for it all, and with that I can do well enough by everybody else, most of the time."
Yeah, what she said...
betty friedan had it right when she said...
"Some people think I'm saying, 'Women of the world unite — you have nothing to lose but your men,' " she told Life magazine in 1963. "It's not true. You have nothing to lose but your vacuum cleaners."
Sunday
Betty Friedan, my hero, dead at 75
I am really sad to hear that Betty died yesterday, on her 75th birthday. I think she had a lot more hellraising left to do.
She's my favorite feminist theorist of the second half of the 20th century and one of the true American originals.
RIP, Betty.
She's my favorite feminist theorist of the second half of the 20th century and one of the true American originals.
RIP, Betty.
Saturday
yummy
Today at lunchtime, I discovered a really good taqueria at the corner of Whittle Springs, right across from that Tudor-looking firehall on the edge of North Hills. It's actually a Hispanic general store called "La Esperanza" where you can buy everything from fresh meat to copies of Spanish Vogue to cowboy boots, but in the back is a lunch counter and the offerings are very tasty. They have a pretty complete menu, too.
boys
I am supposed to be researching and writing about quartz countertops this afternoon -- and I am doing some of that - but I am distracted by my sore head and listening to my son Elliot, age 8 and his friend Liam, agd 7, chatting in the next room as they play...something. I don't know what, but it's fun to listen to them.
At what age do boys begin referring to each other as "Dude"?
As in, "Dude, you totally CAN'T make that dinosaur jump that mountain because a dinosaur CANNOT jump over a mountain."
My 10 year old daughter and her friends do not have any similar name for each other. And they never, ever end up wrestling on the floor when a disagreement over Malibu Barbie becomes heated (as Elliot and his friends do when they can't agree on some lego-related matter).
At what age do boys begin referring to each other as "Dude"?
As in, "Dude, you totally CAN'T make that dinosaur jump that mountain because a dinosaur CANNOT jump over a mountain."
My 10 year old daughter and her friends do not have any similar name for each other. And they never, ever end up wrestling on the floor when a disagreement over Malibu Barbie becomes heated (as Elliot and his friends do when they can't agree on some lego-related matter).
my head
Earlier this morning I accidentally pulled the cord of a lamp and it apparently pulled the whole thing over onto my head. This was a tall floor lamp and I was leaning down next to it and all of a sudden I felt something hit me really, really hard on the side/back of my head and then I was sprawled out on the floor. And for a minute I thought maybe I was going to pass out, but I didn't. But now I have a huge knot on my head and it really, really hurts and I want my mother but instead I have to go to a thing at work for a few hours and then mother my own children. But really, I would like to lie on my mother's couch all afternoon and have her put cold things on this knot on my head and ask me how I am feeling. Because honestly, this hurts like hell.
knitting taggers!
So maybe you're like me and you knit. But maybe you have trouble finishing projects. And maybe you like going out at night and doing something a bit different. If so, this description of a group of late-night crafty taggers hitting the streets.
I found this really entertaining.
I found this really entertaining.
Friday
poll o' the day
I'm taking a poll.
Blind dates: thumbs up or thumbs down? Good or bad?
Comment below.
Blind dates: thumbs up or thumbs down? Good or bad?
Comment below.
The officer who arrested my burglar just dropped some more of my stolen stuff by my office, along with a letter the 16 year old who actually went in my house wrote. It's a letter of apology the kid ASKED to write to me, and suffice it to say, it broke my heart. Now I wish I could adopt him or something. Poor kid.
stewart pack and the royal treatment
I'm interviewing Stewart today about his new record, called "That is That." It's very good. The interview will run next week sometime and next Saturday night, he and the TRT are playing at Barley's. They put on a kickass show. Really one of the best bands I've seen live in the past six months.
unmemorable
I had a very weird experience tonight.
I produce a weekly political chat show on TV. It tapes on Thursday nights, so tonight when the scheduled guests arrived, I went to greet them and discovered there was an extra policy wonk along to help the guy who was going to be on the show with some complicated numbers.
So I was talking with this policy guy, and he said "Oh, I read your column, and I've been to your blog, so I recognize you."
But I was thinking to myself, don't you recognize me because....we once went on a DATE when we were in college? Because...we did. I had totally forgotten this person, but remembered as soon as he came in. I think we went to a sorority thing or something.
Anyway, so I felt sort of stupid about the idea of jogging his memory that we once went out, so instead I kept throwing out unsubtle, non sequitur-type hints, like:
"I was a Chi Omega"
"My name used to be Katie Allison, not Katie Granju"
"My hair used to not be exactly this color" (in fact, it's been EVERY color...)
And stuff like that.
I got nada. He never remembered.
I produce a weekly political chat show on TV. It tapes on Thursday nights, so tonight when the scheduled guests arrived, I went to greet them and discovered there was an extra policy wonk along to help the guy who was going to be on the show with some complicated numbers.
So I was talking with this policy guy, and he said "Oh, I read your column, and I've been to your blog, so I recognize you."
But I was thinking to myself, don't you recognize me because....we once went on a DATE when we were in college? Because...we did. I had totally forgotten this person, but remembered as soon as he came in. I think we went to a sorority thing or something.
Anyway, so I felt sort of stupid about the idea of jogging his memory that we once went out, so instead I kept throwing out unsubtle, non sequitur-type hints, like:
"I was a Chi Omega"
"My name used to be Katie Allison, not Katie Granju"
"My hair used to not be exactly this color" (in fact, it's been EVERY color...)
And stuff like that.
I got nada. He never remembered.
literary mama: reading for the maternally inclined
My friend Andi is the editor of yet another fabulous anthology, just released for your reading pleasure. Many of the contributors are also among my friends and others are writers I've long admired. I'm going to be writing more about this terrific new book in the next few days, but for now, go to LiteraryMama.com for the scoop.
Congrats Andi et al!
Congrats Andi et al!
Thursday
what your drink says about you
Jon has run across a primer on what your libation supposedly says about you.
oh zach braff, say it isn't so!
I am heartbroken to read this morning that the man I, Katie Allison Granju am supposed to marry (or at least have a wanton fling with) is apparently going to marry Mandy Moore.
First of all, isn't Mandy, like, 12 years old? I mean, I know she was quite entertaining in Saved!, but come on! She dated WILMER VALDERRAMA for goodness' sake.
I hope this rumour is utterly false...
First of all, isn't Mandy, like, 12 years old? I mean, I know she was quite entertaining in Saved!, but come on! She dated WILMER VALDERRAMA for goodness' sake.
I hope this rumour is utterly false...
easy way to do something good
My niece Eleanor, who is in first grade, is raising money for St. Jude's Hospital via a school "mathathon." You can make a pledge to her effort (she's doing math problems for pledges) by clicking here. It's a quick, easy way to generate some good karma and help a great cause. (Plus, my niece is just unbelievably adorable, as you can see in this photo of her working on her knitting my my daughter Jane)
the kind of ex-girlfriend you wanna have in your corner
Check out these remarks directed at Oprah from James Frey's ex-girlfriend.
She really let's the Big O have it.
She really let's the Big O have it.
Next Friday night - the 10th - I get to indulge my inner DJ because my friends Rob & Derek have asked me to guest-co-host their weekly radio show.
So I'm takin' requests...
It should be fun. I'm going to bring beer and cookies because I always imagined that if I were a DJ, I would be able to have all the beer and cookies I wanted whilst doing my job.
So I'm takin' requests...
It should be fun. I'm going to bring beer and cookies because I always imagined that if I were a DJ, I would be able to have all the beer and cookies I wanted whilst doing my job.
february - the month of groundhogs and love
It's February again and the V-Day displays are popping up all over, reminding me that I am thoroughly single at the moment. Last year at this time, I wrote my round up of all my previous Valentine's Days and how they had gone down.
This year I find myself thinking about the folks I've gone out with since last February. Some hits. Some misses. One incredibly painful disaster. All in all, it's been a good year on the romance front. I have one sort of enigmatic relationship that baffles me a bit, but all in all, things are good... Just when I start to think it might be sort of nice to have a boyfriend-boyfriend, some married or living-with-boyfriend friend calls me or e-mails me to bitch about what a pain in the ass their guy is and suddenly I feel much better.
Still, in the words of Lloyd Dobler, I'm holding out for a dare to be great situation, and eternal optimist that I am, I bet I'll get it.
This year I find myself thinking about the folks I've gone out with since last February. Some hits. Some misses. One incredibly painful disaster. All in all, it's been a good year on the romance front. I have one sort of enigmatic relationship that baffles me a bit, but all in all, things are good... Just when I start to think it might be sort of nice to have a boyfriend-boyfriend, some married or living-with-boyfriend friend calls me or e-mails me to bitch about what a pain in the ass their guy is and suddenly I feel much better.
Still, in the words of Lloyd Dobler, I'm holding out for a dare to be great situation, and eternal optimist that I am, I bet I'll get it.
Wednesday
getting your war on
My son Henry remarked tonight that our country would do a lot better of we only declared war on proper nouns, instead of on things like "drugs" and "terror."
I pointed out to him that then we wouldn't have the "war on poverty," and he suggested the alternative "quest to end poverty as we know it."
He amuses the heck out of me ;-)
I pointed out to him that then we wouldn't have the "war on poverty," and he suggested the alternative "quest to end poverty as we know it."
He amuses the heck out of me ;-)
got quartz?
If you have kitchen counters made of quartz, please be in touch. I'd like to interview you about this scintillating topic for a freelance piece I'm writing for a design publication.
Seriously.
Quartz is the new granite, dontcha know.
But seriously, I really want to interview you if you have quartz countertops.
Seriously.
Quartz is the new granite, dontcha know.
But seriously, I really want to interview you if you have quartz countertops.
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