reality check

My children left yesterday to spend the week before Christmas, including Christmas Eve and much of Christmas Day, with their father, to whom I am no longer married. Last year was the first year since we split and they spent the first half of the vacation with me, so this year is his turn.

And it sucks. I can't really even allow myself to think about not having my children home to tuck into bed Christmas Eve. Christmas morning will be worse.

In fact, the next time your spouse bugs the heck out of you and you have some sort of divorce fantasy, think about this -- if you get a divorce, every other year, you will not be with your children when they pop put of bed Christmas morning. Maybe that will give you the extra whatever you need to try a little harder with the old life-partner.

I'm not saying divorce is necessarily a bad thing. In fact, in many, many cases, it's the only reasonable or even safe option. But in other cases, it's preventable and it's important that people wavering on the fence to understand really clearly what it will mean for their lives and their kids' lives -- good, bad, and really bad.