This picture of my little brother amuses me.
Friday
In watching the Pope's funeral today (I work in a newsroom -- no escaping it), I was struck yet again by what I believe the Catholic church's biggest problem to be: no women running the show.
And the church seems to have gotten a get-out-of-jail free pass on this. We hear a lot about whether the Episcopal church (my own denomination) will or won't accept gay priests (we will. and mostly do), but the Catholic church is still mired in the middle ages on this issue of no-girls-allowed and no one ever mentions it.
As the camera panned across row after row of priests and bishops and cardinals from all over the planet, gathered in Rome for the funeral, I realized how jarring it is to see that many men, all convened for some major world event, without a single woman among them. Yet the Square was filled to overflowing with ordinary and extraordinary women from all over the world, to whom the church belongs just as much as all those men in silk robes and hats.
There are many things I admire about the Catholic church. But no matter how much it appealed to me, I could never raise my daughter in a religious tradition in which she could never be a priest.
Separate but equal (and I'd argue that nuns aren't equal anyway) doesn't work for me: not in schools or churches or politics.
And the church seems to have gotten a get-out-of-jail free pass on this. We hear a lot about whether the Episcopal church (my own denomination) will or won't accept gay priests (we will. and mostly do), but the Catholic church is still mired in the middle ages on this issue of no-girls-allowed and no one ever mentions it.
As the camera panned across row after row of priests and bishops and cardinals from all over the planet, gathered in Rome for the funeral, I realized how jarring it is to see that many men, all convened for some major world event, without a single woman among them. Yet the Square was filled to overflowing with ordinary and extraordinary women from all over the world, to whom the church belongs just as much as all those men in silk robes and hats.
There are many things I admire about the Catholic church. But no matter how much it appealed to me, I could never raise my daughter in a religious tradition in which she could never be a priest.
Separate but equal (and I'd argue that nuns aren't equal anyway) doesn't work for me: not in schools or churches or politics.
Thursday
thought for the day
Readers
by Frieda Hughes
Wanting to breathe life into their own dead babies
They took her dreams, collected words from one
Who did their suffering for them.
They fingered through her mental underwear
With every piece she wrote. Wanting her naked.
Wanting to know what made her.
Then tried to feather up the bird again.
The vulture with its bloody head
Inside its own belly,
Sucking up its own juice,
Working out its own shape,
Its own reason,
Its own death.
While their mothers lay in quiet graves
Squared out by those green cut pebbles
And flowers in a jam jar, they dug mine up.
Right down to the shells I scattered on her coffin.
They turned her over like meat on coals
To find the secrets of her withered thighs
And shrunken breasts.
They scooped out her eyes to see how she saw,
And bit away her tongue in tiny mouthfuls
To speak with her voice.
But each one tasted separate flesh,
Ate a different organ,
Touched other skin.
Insisted on being the one
Who knew best,
Who had the right recipe.
When she came out of the oven
They had gutted, peeled
And garnished her.
They called her theirs.
All this time I had thought
She belonged to me most.
published November 8th, 1997 in The Guardian
by Frieda Hughes
Wanting to breathe life into their own dead babies
They took her dreams, collected words from one
Who did their suffering for them.
They fingered through her mental underwear
With every piece she wrote. Wanting her naked.
Wanting to know what made her.
Then tried to feather up the bird again.
The vulture with its bloody head
Inside its own belly,
Sucking up its own juice,
Working out its own shape,
Its own reason,
Its own death.
While their mothers lay in quiet graves
Squared out by those green cut pebbles
And flowers in a jam jar, they dug mine up.
Right down to the shells I scattered on her coffin.
They turned her over like meat on coals
To find the secrets of her withered thighs
And shrunken breasts.
They scooped out her eyes to see how she saw,
And bit away her tongue in tiny mouthfuls
To speak with her voice.
But each one tasted separate flesh,
Ate a different organ,
Touched other skin.
Insisted on being the one
Who knew best,
Who had the right recipe.
When she came out of the oven
They had gutted, peeled
And garnished her.
They called her theirs.
All this time I had thought
She belonged to me most.
published November 8th, 1997 in The Guardian
friendster
Friendster is pretty darn cool. In the past week I have heard from two old, long-lost friends (one from elementary school and one from Randolph-Macon Woman's College) who found me there.
ouch
I have been following the firestorm over a freelancer's very sloppy "expose" of frats at Chico State in California. I feel bad for the guy. It is a sloppy story, but as a freelancer myself, I can imagine how terrible he must be feeling.
But anyway, he has now sent out an e-mail to friends and other reporters, apologizing for how bad the piece is, but denying he made up sources.
I think reporters used to make up sources all the time. I really do. Now, however, it's virtually impossible to do. The post-Jayson-Blair-climate makes every quote open to serious scrutiny and the Web makes it possible to fact check to a degree never before possible.
But anyway, he has now sent out an e-mail to friends and other reporters, apologizing for how bad the piece is, but denying he made up sources.
I think reporters used to make up sources all the time. I really do. Now, however, it's virtually impossible to do. The post-Jayson-Blair-climate makes every quote open to serious scrutiny and the Web makes it possible to fact check to a degree never before possible.
i am getting veeeeerrrryy sleepy....
I am headed back to Oak Ridge to see the hypnotist again today as part of this series I am doing (on TV). The idea is he is supposed to cure me of my lifelong habit of gnawing my fingernails.
The first session was really fascinating and I did manage to go about a week without biting them, which is sort of a record for me. But then life got hectic and I had to go out of town suddenly and, and, and.... Whatever it was that the guy did to me essentially seemed to wear off.
So now I will go back this morning and get filmed as the hypnotist does his thing on me again. I hope it works. I would like to quit biting my nails (and my pedicure guy would too. He is dying to move on to my fingernails from my toenails, but I have never let him because it seems a waste of money).
I will also feel really bad for the hypnotist if it doesn't take because he's awfully nice and he is doing it on TV. Failure probably wouldn't help his business much.
The first session was really fascinating and I did manage to go about a week without biting them, which is sort of a record for me. But then life got hectic and I had to go out of town suddenly and, and, and.... Whatever it was that the guy did to me essentially seemed to wear off.
So now I will go back this morning and get filmed as the hypnotist does his thing on me again. I hope it works. I would like to quit biting my nails (and my pedicure guy would too. He is dying to move on to my fingernails from my toenails, but I have never let him because it seems a waste of money).
I will also feel really bad for the hypnotist if it doesn't take because he's awfully nice and he is doing it on TV. Failure probably wouldn't help his business much.
Wednesday
don't you wish...
that you lived in Tennessee, like I do, so you could enjoy the peace of mind that comes with this?
death cab for cutie
I think I love Chris Walla, and maybe this "Dear Bjork" letter means he's available.
(Actually, I do have a crush, but I'm just posting this link 'cause it's such a clever review he's written of Bjork's discography. For the record, I am not a Bjork fan.)
(Actually, I do have a crush, but I'm just posting this link 'cause it's such a clever review he's written of Bjork's discography. For the record, I am not a Bjork fan.)
schadenfreude
Manifest here. And here.
And some responses from me here and also here.
Really, my views on divorce are best summed up in this amazing essay by my friend and former editor Jeannie Ouellette. Like me, Jeannie married really young and had three children and ended up divorced about one year before I did. Her experience is, in many ways, eerily similar to mine.
My favorite part of her essay:
"Marriage changed me; motherhood changed me more. But divorce and its aftermath changed me the most. I no longer have the energy to be desperately deferential. I’m turning into everything I never was before. I merge fearlessly in traffic. I park in tight spots (and sometime miss). I say no. I talk about my problems. I sometimes hang up on telemarketers (though I still cringe to admit it). And now I love someone again, someone who seems to love me more than I can explain, and I’m getting married again—even though it’s hardly perfect, given our kids and our pasts and our complicated present. Now, however, I don’t give a damn about perfect. I have what I need, and mostly what I want. I’ve paid for it all, and with that I can do well enough by everybody else, most of the time."
Yeah, what she said...
And some responses from me here and also here.
Really, my views on divorce are best summed up in this amazing essay by my friend and former editor Jeannie Ouellette. Like me, Jeannie married really young and had three children and ended up divorced about one year before I did. Her experience is, in many ways, eerily similar to mine.
My favorite part of her essay:
"Marriage changed me; motherhood changed me more. But divorce and its aftermath changed me the most. I no longer have the energy to be desperately deferential. I’m turning into everything I never was before. I merge fearlessly in traffic. I park in tight spots (and sometime miss). I say no. I talk about my problems. I sometimes hang up on telemarketers (though I still cringe to admit it). And now I love someone again, someone who seems to love me more than I can explain, and I’m getting married again—even though it’s hardly perfect, given our kids and our pasts and our complicated present. Now, however, I don’t give a damn about perfect. I have what I need, and mostly what I want. I’ve paid for it all, and with that I can do well enough by everybody else, most of the time."
Yeah, what she said...
Tuesday
www.current.tv
I'm an Al Gore fan. He was my congressman when I was growing up (4th district - TN). Then he was my Senator. I headed up UT Students for Gore in '88 and also campaigned for him in the debacle of 2000.
But I am sorry to say that I don't think this new venture is gonna fly.
The plan is that "young people" will submit video to Gore's new cable channel, but the thing is, even with the problems that come with still-limited bandwidth, these "young people" are already uploading their video directly to the Web. They are not going to be interested in adding the extra step of getting it to this TV channel (even if they can submit online) or even watching this TV channel. They can already watch and share video online without dealing with TV producers or programming schedules or signed releases, etc, etc
Maybe I'm wrong. I just don't think people are watching grassroots-produced video on TV anymore.
I am also disappointed to find out that the cable TV channel Gore is finally announcing (folks have known for more than a year that he was working with partners on launching some kind of cable channel) isn't going to be explicitly progressive in its views or programming. I was hoping he really was planning a progressive counterpoint to Fox News, but in today's press release about the new cable venture, Gore says quite clearly that his new channel will be basically apolitical - another recipe for disaster, in my opinion.
But I am sorry to say that I don't think this new venture is gonna fly.
The plan is that "young people" will submit video to Gore's new cable channel, but the thing is, even with the problems that come with still-limited bandwidth, these "young people" are already uploading their video directly to the Web. They are not going to be interested in adding the extra step of getting it to this TV channel (even if they can submit online) or even watching this TV channel. They can already watch and share video online without dealing with TV producers or programming schedules or signed releases, etc, etc
Maybe I'm wrong. I just don't think people are watching grassroots-produced video on TV anymore.
I am also disappointed to find out that the cable TV channel Gore is finally announcing (folks have known for more than a year that he was working with partners on launching some kind of cable channel) isn't going to be explicitly progressive in its views or programming. I was hoping he really was planning a progressive counterpoint to Fox News, but in today's press release about the new cable venture, Gore says quite clearly that his new channel will be basically apolitical - another recipe for disaster, in my opinion.
Monday
The search terms people use to end up at my blog are always interesting, and in the past few days, my post below (the "bad mommy" orgy) has generated some extra interesting hits from people looking for "bored housewives" (actual search term) or "sexually frustrated suburban mothers" (also an actual search term from someone who ended up on my blog this week) or something, but I think what you guys are actually looking for is over here at the Naughty Mama blog. It's a good read, so check it out ( I used to be an editor at LiteraryMama.com and love pretty much everything they publish...)
And for the record:
-I am not bored
-I am not frustrated (this week, anyway)
-I live in the 'hood, not the burbs
-I am open to the houswifery thing (especially if I get some kind of cool costume to wear and the job comes with a houseboy)
Speaking of housewives, be sure to read Adam Boyle's29 thoughts on the apparent sexiness of "Desperate Housewives.
And for the record:
-I am not bored
-I am not frustrated (this week, anyway)
-I live in the 'hood, not the burbs
-I am open to the houswifery thing (especially if I get some kind of cool costume to wear and the job comes with a houseboy)
Speaking of housewives, be sure to read Adam Boyle's29 thoughts on the apparent sexiness of "Desperate Housewives.
question of the day
Would you or would you not tell a late-thirties-age male friend that he would have much better success with the ladies if he would, umm, see someone about his excessive eyebrows. They didn't used to be excessive, but they are now fairly remarkable. And he's otherwise really attractive. But the eyebrows are a serious liability. My eyebrow guy, Karl, could make them over -- in a subtle, oh-so- masculine way. But how do you even tell a guy this? Or do you?
not working
I took the day off from my real job today to work on a magazine article that was due Friday. Unfortunately, instead of getting much working done, I find myself sitting here on my porch in the unbelievable warm, spring weather, feet up, drinking a gin & tonic, eating chocolate chip cookies, and compulsively organizing all my music which has now just been returned to me in iPod form (a brave person agreed to take ALL my CDs and convert them to MP3s, which has now been accomplished, after weeks and weeks.).
I am rediscovering stuff I haven't listened to in ages (Game Theory, Mission of Burma, The Lyres, The Pogues) and enjoying some really good stuff I just started listening to in recent months. The best new thing I've stumbled onto in the past few months is The New Pornographers. Recommended by someone I had never met before, and for some reason I actually went and bought one of their CDs. Good call.
So, so, so, so good. Listening to Electric Version now. May dance down the street....
Must work.
Must, must work.
This record is so good that I may have to actually turn it OFF in order to pay attention to what I am supposed to be writing about.
I am rediscovering stuff I haven't listened to in ages (Game Theory, Mission of Burma, The Lyres, The Pogues) and enjoying some really good stuff I just started listening to in recent months. The best new thing I've stumbled onto in the past few months is The New Pornographers. Recommended by someone I had never met before, and for some reason I actually went and bought one of their CDs. Good call.
So, so, so, so good. Listening to Electric Version now. May dance down the street....
Must work.
Must, must work.
This record is so good that I may have to actually turn it OFF in order to pay attention to what I am supposed to be writing about.
creepy
I am incredibly creeped out by the pictures of the Pope, all dressed in puffy satin, lying in state. I think it may actually give me nightmares....
Sunday
atlanta
I've had a couple of folks e-mail me in the past week to ask when I am speaking in Atlanta this month. It's April 16 at some place called Peachtree City, which I had confused with the only hotel I've ever stayed in in Atlanta that also has Peachtree in its name but isn't the same.... Too confusing.
Anyway, I will be talking about the politics of breastfeeding at lunchtime, I think, and you can contact Laura Chisholm at mamchis@comcast.net if you wanna come hear what I have to say....
Anyway, I will be talking about the politics of breastfeeding at lunchtime, I think, and you can contact Laura Chisholm at mamchis@comcast.net if you wanna come hear what I have to say....
Friday
elliot's first riding lesson
He was three years old.
He's six years old in the horse show photo below.
He's six years old in the horse show photo below.
elliot's first horseshow
Adorable boy. Adorable pony (Although she does look like she really wishes E would stop yanking on her mouth...)
popewatch
Last night I heard a local TV reporter ask a Catholic priest (verbatim quote):
"So, would you say the Pope is an important symbol for the Catholic community?"
"So, would you say the Pope is an important symbol for the Catholic community?"
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